HAPPY THANKSGIVING 2011

Happy Thanksgiving!!!  It's a wonderful life!  This week has been AMAZING so far!  The Agnews are here and joining us for the holiday.  We have had so much fun seeing them all and getting to visit and the kids have played.  Last night we had 2 little girls in the house, which was strange for us, but I loved every minute of it!  Tonight we have one little girl and I love it too!  They are taking turns spending the night with Cole!  He loves the girls.  They all play so well together.  I am so happy they are here. 

We had a HUGE HUGE lunch today.  All of our family and a few friends came to join us and there was more food than we know what to do with.  Looks like leftovers will be eaten the rest of the weekend.  Not a problem at all!  NO COOKING!!!  We've done enough these last few days for sure!

Tomorrow is our traditional breakfast at Ma & Pas cafe.  Trudy is looking forward to seeing Brenda for breakfast.  She will FLIP out on her too with all her weight loss!  Brenda had surgery 3 days after me and she had the gastric sleeve.  She as of last update has lost 155 lbs.  She looks fantastic!  I am so proud of her!  I am looking forward to my harold tomorrow... it's my tradition and I can't wait to dig in to it!  Maybe I can have a half a harold??  ha ha ha! 

I am down 185 lbs... not sure if I've posted that detail lately?  I feel AMAZING.  The holiday wasn't an issue.  I ate a plate of food, a tiny plate of food, but a plate none the less.  I had a bit of everything I wanted to try.  It may have taken me all day long to get in a bit of everything, but I managed.  I didn't over eat, I stopped when I was full and I even had a bite of pecan pie, a bite of pumpkin pie and lots of TURKEY!!!!  I am a bit pissy because I was just at Walmart the other day and yesterday my scale battery DIED.  No warning, it just died.  So now I only have my OLD bathroom dial scale, not my digital one to weigh on, which sucks because I am steady and used to weighing in on my digital one.  It's been the one I weigh in on since surgery.  Okay so  I guess I should post my main goal I have sailed past... I AM NOW SMALLER THAN BILL!!!  Ha ha.  To most people this wouldn't matter, but I've never been smaller than him.  When we got together I was smaller, but so was he, he was like 160 lbs soaking wet!  Now he's fluffier and I am SMALLER than he is.  This excites me.  I told Dr. Marshall I wanted to be smaller than my husband and he said I would be, I never thought it would be this fast!!  WOW!!!  I love the new me!  I only have like 25-30 lbs to get to my goal, but Dr Marshall thinks I will get even lower than that?  I have about 9 more months of weight loss left on this "window".  I could bottom out at any point now, but they claim you will steadily lose for at least 18 mos after surgery if you follow the diet and exercise and I am doing all that, so I am continuing to lose.   I am happy to be this close to my goal, but I NEVER thought I would be this small.  I still don't recognize myself.  I shock myself every time I walk past a mirror.  I am wearing size 14 pants now, and they are getting too big.  I am going to have to wear belts with them now, or bump down to a size 12.  This is crazy.  Just NUTS to me.  SIZE 12... WHAT THE HELL!!!!  I think I wore a 12 when I was like 10??  ha ha.. No really I don't know, but it's been years and years.  I don't even really remember wearing 12's???  I can wear a size XL-Lg shirts now.  I am in a Lg coat, and could wear a medium, but I don't like my coats that snug, I'd rather have a baggier coat.  I am so thrilled with myself daily! 

My hair is growing back.  It's funny looking little wispy hairs behind my ears the nape of my neck and sprouting in my part line.  It's great it's coming back in, but it's funny as hell looking where it's coming back in when I have my hair up in a pony tail!  Strange for sure!

Well, we are so thankful for all that we have in our lives.  We are truly blessed and I am so happy that we have each other and these dear family and friends to celebrate these holiday with.  I love my life!!!! 

Spinning...

I've finally surpassed the 180 lb lost mark.  I am so thrilled about this.  I am like one more pound until I am smaller than Bill!  He got me an XL Kruger coat for this winter and I had to put it back in his stash and take out a large one!  Woooo HOOOOO!!!  This makes me HAPPY! 

I am really super thankful for the opportunity to have been given this surgery and this tool to help me in my life.  I will be thankful everyday for the gift that Dr. Marshall has given me.  I really am making a devoted effort to pay it forward in every way I can.  If I can help just one person in this world overcome the burden of weight like I have, I will feel like I've done well. 

Today is my Pampered Chef Party date.  I am hoping that people show up.  You just never know about these things.  I can never tell?   I just really want this deep dish baker from Bill for my Christmas.  I am working hard to earn that item!!

I am so tired today.  I need to get my rear in gear and get going.  I need to shower and pack up the final things to take to town.  I hope I don't forget anything!

I am so not ready for this hustle and bustle of these holidays!  I have so much to do in so little of time.  I hope I can get it all accomplished and done.  I am good and almost done shopping though.  Just a few odds and ends left to get.  Thank goodness. 

I hope I can keep it all organized in my head.  There's a lot to do.  Thanksgiving Dinner, Polar Express, Weekend get away with my Besties, Christmas Cookie bake, My Birthday, Christmas events... it's getting crazy and time is slipping away by the second... wow.

I am so happy and excited for it all, but not ready for it all to get here just yet.  I need a pause button for a few days!  That's all I need a couple solid days and I can get somewhat caught up on things.  That's what my plan is this week.  Mon-Wed I want to get stuff caught up. 

For now I am off... Gotta get to town and get finished up for things for the party.  Have a lovely day everyone... I know I will!!!!

WOW

It's been a super busy productive couple weeks and more to come I'm sure.  I FINALLY got all done Christmas shopping online tonight.  I have one item on ebay for Cole that I am bidding on and hope that I can win.  I finished up tonight with the boys and Keith and even got Cole a gift from Grandma picked out.  She always celebrates with us so she buys for the boys when she comes.  Not necessary, but she feels like she needs to, so I found a $15 board game Cole really wanted and ordered it for her for him.  Free shipping cause I spent a ton so that worked out nicely!  I am so happy! 

Well I am officially down 175 lbs.  I am ONE pound away from 180 every morning the last couple days, but it's that time of the month, so my weight loss always stalls for a few days then will take the BIG plunge and I might just lose down to 185 lbs... it happens that fast with me sometimes.  Last week I lost 3 lbs.  It was shocking since I've only been losing about a pound a week lately.  Not that I mind.  I am so close to my goal.  I know I will get there!  Here are my before and after photos, with my most recent shots...

Now the side shots... SHOCKING!!!!

I feel like a million bucks, most days... today I ate some subway and within a half hour I had the craps and my tummy hurt so bad.  Not sure if it was the lettuce or fresh veggies or what?  I just hurt bad for about 2 hours and then I was fine.  Weird. 

I made some amazing meat loaf tonight for supper.  It was pretty darned fabulous.  I also made baked sweet taters and some fresh pineapple.  It was pretty awesome.

My pampered chef party is on Thursday.  I hope I have a good turn out.  I just want my monthly special, it's what I'm making Bill buy me for Christmas!  The Deep Dish Baker.  I can't wait!  I want it so bad.  I'm making my home made spaghetti sauce tomorrow for the party, it's better if you make it, let it sit a day or two and then re heat it up, it has such wonderful flavor.  I am also making crusty french bread and some awesome dipping sauces for it.  Then I am having fresh veggies and a couple awesome Pampered Chef Dips.  I am making a dessert pizza for dessert too.  YUM YUM.  Can't wait.  Going to be a fun night of full bellies! 

I spent some time tonight getting Danny's Biggest Loser recap all typed up for him, and printing off the online recap.  I like to make up my own though, cause I like to comment on things that happen and we both like the same people and hate the same people so I know he LOVES my commentary!  ha ha.  I mailed him out The Help book today.  He should get it in a few days.  I hope he likes it.  I loved it.  Can't wait to see the movie.

I have been soooo behind on my DVR.  I just can't sit still to watch it.  I am needing a day of TV but can't sit here long enough to get that done.  I get started on something and then jump up and go off and get busy doing something else and just can't seem to get too interested in programs, even my favorites.  I had to delete some shows last night to clear up some space.  Tonight I have been skipping through all my Days of Our Lives ( I had 14 on here)  I am skipping over the boring parts and only watching the good interesting stuff.  I only have 5 left to see.  Yeah me!!  That's lots of skipping!!!

Well Bill's home.  Time for me to heat up his supper and go to bed.  I am pooped and 6 a.m. comes tooo darned early!

Time change... everything changes.. Really?

Oh yeah, the time change... I think it has us all a bit messed up.  Cole came out at 7 asking if it was time for him to go to bed.  Here it is 2:30 a.m. and I've been up an hour now because I was sleeping soundly and then hear all this noise... bam bam bam bam bam and I jump out of bed wondering what the hell is going on?  It sounded like someone banging on our doors?  I get up and go investigate and don't have to go far.  It's BRODY CHARLES jumping up and down in his crib lauging his ass off dancing to Yo Gabba Gabba on TV.  Ugh I could scream.  Scared the shit out of me for sure.  I got him a fresh jug of milk, changed his diaper which had a few turds in it, so I'm grateful he woke me up or he'd have had a major rash come morning, plus he was soaked.  I told him it was late and he needed to go night night.  He took his jug and laid down and just smiled at me.  I tucked him in, handed him his bear and he just looks up, smiles and says "bear, mommy, bear" and I said "yes Bear, now go night night baby, it's late" and he rolled over to go back to sleep.  So I thought... then 20 minutes later he's back at kicking his feet on the mattress, jumping up and down and screeching so loud he's going to wake the entire house up.  I swear, this time change has us all out of sorts.  I'm wide awake now.  Ugh

So I've been dubbed "Rachel" by my husband as in Rachel Ray for the week.  I mastered the oven roasted brisket, mastered the Dijon mustard and herb half a pork loin and today I mastered the coke and brown sugar bacon wrapped pork loin.  He has been so pleased with my culinary efforts that he's actually put on a few pounds this week.  Eeeek!  Tonight I took a pic of him sitting in his recliner looking like he's 9 mos pregnant!  His guts were HUGE after he ate his supper.  I would have posted it too, however it took me a few seconds to realize he was sitting there in his t shirt and underwear fresh out of the shower and I doubt the world needed to see those white legs, or whitey tighties either!  He's saying he's going on a diet, but I don't see it happening anytime too soon.  He enjoys eating too much at supper for that business!  Plus... I have 7 more lbs to catch up to him and I will officially weigh less than he does!  I told him that I have plans for that... I'm going to feed him more and I will eat less and hopefully here in a week or two I will blow him out of the water! 

I can finally button up a LARGE shirt.  I'm not saying it looks flattering on me yet, but I can get it on.  I can fit my fat arms into it and I can actually bring the snaps together and button the entire thing up!  This just amazes me like no other.  I am so happy!  Now, XL is more my style for now, and more comfy and roomy the way I like it, but large is on the realm of possibilities and it makes me so proud.  I can not tell you the last time I could get a large anything on my body?  Grade school maybe?  I think in like 6th grade I was in XL clothing.  I know I was wearing a 16-18 in 6th grade.  I wore that size from then on through HS.  Wow.  I am officially down 173 lbs now.  I'd say 175 but I seem to bounce around a few days before I break the "barrier" and I don't officially like to post that I've hit a certain 5 lb mark until I've surpassed it and know there's no going back!  That's just my preference. 

Oh what a joyous 9 month ride it's been.  Yep, I've been post op for exactly 9 months and 3 days.  Long enough to make a baby!  I've lost a whole grown human in that time.  It's such a roller coaster.  I just can't even get my own head wrapped around it most days.  I try to, but every time I pass a mirror, and I can totally thank my husband for putting MIRRORED shower doors on the bathroom shower, so I have to pass those full body mirrors every flipping time I gotta go use the potty!  I just amaze myself to see myself.  I don't expect at all what I see looking back at me.  9 months is such a short time to go through so many body changes when I've lived so large my whole life.  I have went 30 years "big" and now I am smaller and I just can't seem to accept it yet.  I hear every single day how beautiful I look, how skinny I look, how amazing I am to people who haven't seen me in ages, but I tell you what... the biggest shock is how much I AMAZE myself!  It's just unreal the way I feel.  I have all this energy and I can't seem to get rid of it.  I just want to go go go all the time.  I get up and get things going for the day.  I never know what little chore or task I will end up tackling for the day.  I just do and do and do!  I am like the energizer bunny.  I can't even get caught up on my darned DVR recorded shows.  I am so behind.  I start watching something and end up getting up and getting busy doing something else.  My house is so clean all the time, which I LOVE, but it's strange to feel so good to have the energy to take care of it all and not get tuckered out.  I also have energy to cook and play with the kids and help Bill when he needs it.  It just seems so non stop.  I love it.  I love the new me.  I am so happy now.  I always thought I was a happy person before.  I was mentally happy I guess, but physically I was a morbidly obese person living with a "happy" frame of mind.  I was a sad sad girl, who didn't know what the hell happy was.  It makes me so sick to think of all these years I've wasted being fat.  How many things I've not done, or refused to even think about doing because of my weight.  How many things I have been scared to try, scared to do or even attempt.  I will not let weight hold me prisoner for one more second of my life.  I realize I will never be small.  I am always going to be bigger than most.  I can deal with that part, I just want to look normal.  I want to be able to walk in the room and know I am NOT the biggest one in there, even with a room full of BIG men!  Yep, I have spent way too much time being HUGE.  It's nice to be somewhat normal now and blend in.  Other than the red hair, I guess I just don't stand out much anymore and I LOVE it! 

Some people are genuinely happy for me. Those people have been there for me through it all.  They've called, sent texts, emails and facebooked me messages checking up on me from day one.  I have supporters and friends I never knew cared so much that truly do.  My family and Bill's family have been BLESSINGS to us.  On days when I couldn't get my ass up out of the chair and move because I was to weak and tired and sore, they were there to support me.  When work needed to get done on this house and I couldn't stop puking every 5 minutes, they were here to keep my kids, help lift a paint brush, help me get this place ready to move into.  Then there was the packing and moving and sickness and all wrapped up into a crazy time.  They were all there helping me every step of the way.  I get that most people going through this major life change wouldn't have taken on so much work right after surgery, but we had goals and plans with life and I wasn't going to let anything stand in my way for our future happiness and home.  We managed.  Day by day, week by week, hour by hour we seemed to get by and without the support of them all it NEVER would have happened at all. 

What a ride this must have been for Cole.  He's been through so much these last few years.  I know my pregnancies with our baby we lost and then Brody really took a toll on his little heart.  He was so worried about mom, and babies and he never knew day to day where in the world he would be.  I felt so bad for him.  I was in and out of the hospital all the time and on bed rest and what a boring life I must have given him!  Not to mention not knowing where he would be staying, or who he would be with because Mommy was locked up in a hospital someplace again.  Then to ice the cake even more I go in for ELECTIVE surgery.  He had to watch me in pain from that.  He knew it would help make me skinny, he gets what is happening to me, but he's still my ornery boy who last week looked up at our family picture and says "mom, look how big you were there, you had gobblers"  ha ha ha.  What are Gobblers?  I asked him and so he climbs up on the couch and points up to the photo and says "see here your gobblers are so big"  he was referring to my CHEEKS on my face!  What a sweet little boy!  Then he proceeds to tell me how skinny my legs are now compared to then.  I pretty much had to tell him my whole body is skinnier now compared to then!  He agreed and said he's happy for me.  I love that kid!

We've been on a mission for a cleaner room.  He is such a damn hoarder.  I swear he could make the show if I'd just let him accumulate for more than a few months, his room would make the directors cut of the hit series hoarders!  Papers and gadgets and toys and trash and filth.  Scraps of papers, wrappers, dirty clothes, where does it all come from?  It's shoved in book shelves, desk drawers, toy boxes... the closet floor.  Ugh.  The day after Halloween we took task to starting in on his bedroom the second he got off the school bus and had a snack.  We went through every flipping nook and cranny and cleaned.  We ended up with a trash bag of trash, a laundry basket with dirty clothes and a much much cleaner and organized room.  Now, he's been warned that I find ONE single sucker stick, candy wrapper or scrap of dirty clothes on the floor he's getting his TV, and DVD player and Wii taken away.  No DS, No NOTHING but books and homework.  If he can't learn to appreciate what he has, then he doesn't deserve it at all.  With Christmas coming soon, I wanted to get him in the habit of cleaning every day.  I want it picked up each night before bed.  I want it kept clean.  I know this is a tall order, especially for a boy, but he's 8 and if I don't crack the whip now, he could get out of hand soon!  I just got hard on him and hope he keeps this up.  So far it's been almost a week and it's still clean, even having company for 2 days this weekend he kept it clean!  Proudness just beams from this mommy... for now!

Brody's been keeping to his room lately.  He gets all sorts of hateful when Cole goes in there and I can see why.  Cole shuts him out of his room all the time, so why shouldn't he be mean to Cole and keep him out of his room.  Tonight I was changing him on the changing table and Cole came in his room.  Brody says "Cole... ROOM" and points to the door.  Like he's telling him " Cole get out of my room"   just like Cole tells Brody "stay out of my room!"  it was so flipping cute.  Now he's decided he knows what he likes to watch and what he doesn't.  If something comes on he hates, he comes out and says "mom TV" and points to his room.  I go change the channel and he says "thank you" and starts playing with his toys again!  He is not a fan of spongebob.  I think he scares him!  I don't much like him either.  He is also not a fan of Diego.  Don't know why?  He just always wants the TV changed when those two come on.  He's getting such an expanded vocabulary finally.  He's starting to repeat many things.  Even when you ask him to now, he might just surprise you and repeat things.  It's cute.  He LOVES looking at pictures on the computer and saying who each person it.  LOVES it!  He loves going through our phone pictures and pointing out people too.  He thinks he's so smart and he will just laugh and laugh when he gets it right!  Funny.  His new favorite phrase "where Cole AT?"  he puts a lot of phrase on the AT part!  I get so sick of telling him at school, cause that's usually where he's at.  Tonight when he asked I said "in his room" and so he was walking around saying "cole at  room"  then he'd put his finger up to his mouth and go "shhhhh, night night! "  it was so cute. 

Bill's so pleased with the way the fall ground is working up.  We had an amazing harvest this year with few break downs and not a lot of wet or muddy mess to put up with.  That's awesome.  We started watching this new show on the history channel called Harvest.  It's about these custom harvesters who make their living going farm to farm harvesting their crops.  That's all they do.  Then they take 5 months off and go at it again.  So basically it's following them around on these "assignments" to different farms and different conditions.  There have been flooding, fires, and breakdowns.  It's so funny to hear the commentator and the dramatic music... da da dammmm... it really makes for a dramatic show!  Bill and I agreed he really needs that deep voiced commentator to follow him around daily with the background suspense music to make his job seem a lot more dramatic and interesting!  It's funny how they can take an everyday job like farming, which is our way of life, but so unknown to others and make a hit tv show off of it!  Cracks me up.  If my Grandpa Trone was still alive I know he''d be watching that show too.  He got into all those farming and horse and cow shows. 

I don't know why in the heck I can't sleep?  I am so screwed up.  I have a Dr apt tomorrow morning at 10 with Jeff.  I got to get checked for my blood pressure and see how the medicine is treating me since we changed it up.  I am taking half a dose in the morning and half the dose in the evenings now, since my digestion is so different and so is my absorption.  My pressures were coming up in the evenings and we figured it was because I had passed my medicines already and was working with a big fat nothing in my system.  I switched to half doses twice a day and my pressures here at home have been just fine.  This makes me happy.  I am going to talk to him about migraines.  I think I've had a few in the last few months and they are making me so sick.  I need to know if there's anything he can get me that I can take that will help with the pain and nausea that isn't going to cause ulcers or rot my guts.  This is such an issue now, since surgery.  I can't take alieve or motrin products now.  Ulcers can form and I can get really sick if I take them.  So I am stuck with Benadryl and Tylenol cocktails and they really didn't help much the other night.  I was seeing hazy colors and my head was throbbing and sensitive to light and then started puking from the pain and dizziness.  It's awful.  I put ice on my neck and back of my head, then took the cocktail and then laid down in the pitch black bedroom and got undressed and laid in front of the fan with a wet washcloth on my head and the ceiling fan and my fan blowing on me.  It was just awful pain.  All day Saturday I had the "aftershocks" of pain.  My head still hurt, but wasn't so intense and then Sunday I just had the "hangover" feeling like the headache was there but is gone now.  It's weird.  This has happened about a month ago or so and now again.  I hate it.  It's totally ruined my days.  There's nothing you can do when it hits.  I am wondering if there's something he can give me to ward it off?  It just makes me so sick.  Poor Bill came home Friday night and I pretty much told him I was sick and going to bed and left him eating his supper all alone in front of the TV.  I felt awful, but hurt so damn bad.  Once I started puking though I knew I had done the right thing by going off to bed and dark and quiet. 

Well I am taking a dear friend to Peoria to the Surgical Weight Loss informational meeting tonight.  I am going to help her along with her journey.  I am so excited for her and can't wait to see her a year from now.  She will be a totally new woman!  This is such a life changing thing.  I am not a surgery pusher by any means, but when someone asks me about my journey I share, the good, the bad and the super ugly, but when they ask for help I am here.  I am helping her get started and I am going to share my story with the group too, kind of a pay it forward thing.  I got to see post op patients at my informational meeting.  I will never forget "Big Mike" or "Jerri" and those people are inspiring because they have been successful and I want to show that a year ago, I was sitting in that same room, scared to death to start this journey, but I did and am forever grateful for all I've been through and all that I've been given because of this new chance at life.