Frakes Merry Christmas

The holidays have been super HAPPY here in the Frakes household.  The boys are truly blessed by so many loving family members!  They both got waaaayyyy too many gifts!  They sure are spoiled! 

Brody was especially FUN to watch this year because this was the first year he "got into" opening his own gifts!  He really let er' rip!  He tore into that paper like there was no tomorrow!  He loved discovering what was inside, however he hated giving up the gift after he opened it to go on to the next.  He still wanted to play with what he first opened!  It was so funny!  Then he would open the next gift and not want to part with it.  After all the running around from one event to the other, Monday morning, our first morning home, he was found sitting beside his toy box most of the day discovering all the fun new toys he received!  His toy box overflows and we even left a few presents at each of the places we went so that he would have toys to play with there next time!  Spoiled rotten is what he is!

Cole was so much of a joy this year!  He was truly into the whole "magic" of the season!  We had to bake cookies for Santa, we had to track him all evening long on Norad, and then he kept looking out the window for "red nose" blinking in the sky!  It was so cute.  I bubbled inside feeling his joy.  He was super excited for Santa to come.  It was such a magical night to live in his life!  I enjoyed being a part of it all!  He was so happy and full of joy it just tickled me to the core!

After opening presents at home we made the Journey in the snow out to Ferris to Grandma Jeans.  The whirl wind of kids invaded her house once again!  The older boys played well, the babies got into everything as usual, we laughed a lot, had a nice lunch and then the kids tore into the presents!  The Crayola presents were a hit with the boys.  They played with those things for a couple hours. It kept them entertained.  The babies napped and played.  It was such peaceful and relaxing way to spend our Christmas day!

The Day after Christmas we woke up and played at home for a bit.  The boys had fun discovering all the new toys they had from the day before.  We then loaded up and headed to Keith and Bev's.  Anna and I were in charge of the pizzeria so we whipped up some masterpieces that everyone would enjoy.  Beth and the boys came out and we all had a wonderful lunch and the kids had fun opening all their gifts.  Brody was so funny... he wanted to sit all alone down the hall to open his presents in private!  He made quite the mess!  It was soooo cute!

After an afternoon of lounging around the Frakes we headed into Carthage for a Taco feast at my Mom's house.  We had a taco buffet and opened gifts with Mom & Dennis.  It was so much fun!  The kids got spoiled rotten, of course, and so did we!  Cole finally got his Fushigi ball he wanted.  That darned thing is complicated.  It's hard for us adults to master.  I'm not sure how he will be able to do it?  He also got some games, and toys and we got some clothes, and money!  Oh I forgot to mention the gift from Dennis... booze!  Merry Christmas to us!!!!  I got some wine, Bill whiskey, and Shawn Beer!  How clever of him.  He also got us some lottery tickets, which we only won a little money on... bummer!

We all had a wonderful Christmas!  I am so happy we are truly blessed with the best family a person could ask for.  We love them all.

Hitting the hay!

Merry Christmas Everyone!  Santa has been here and I think he ate too many cookies to sleep... ha ha ha.  I have gotten a few things done around here today.  It feels nice to have been home lately and working around the house on things.  I can't wait for the boys to open their presents tomorrow and see how they like what we and Santa have gotten them.  It's such a magical day in the eyes of a kid.  Cole has been so happy today.  Making cookies with me, peeking out the windows, tracking Santa on NORAD on the computer, helping daddy wrap presents, he's just so happy and joyous to be a kid!  It's such a magical time in his life.  I sure remember the feelings all wrapped up into this time of year in my childhood.  I hope we've done enough to make special memories for him to last a lifetime. 

First and foremost we survived our trip to Peoria.  Brody got his MRI.  He had some trouble with the drugs.  They used Prophathol (SP?)  the Michael Jackson drug to put him to sleep.  It is a fast acting drug, fast to sleep, fast to wear off.  It has a few side effects, one being dropping blood pressure, and slowing breathing, or stopping it in some cases.  They got him to sleep, started on the MRI and he had a reaction.  They said his BP dropped, he jerked around and they kept giving him more meds to sleep, but he wouldn't stay out, so they had to start another IV and give him more drugs to put him out.  He finally got out 2 hours later.  He was like a drunken little thing.  He couldn't sit up.  Was giggly one second, whiny and fussy the next.  He was all bruised up.  Poor thing.  Good news is the test came back this week, and as far as they can tell he is just fine.  Nothing is showing up on the MRI for cranial pressure or abnormality of the brain. 

While we were in Peoria we saw the Avenue of Lights.  It was just amazing.  Beautiful displays and it started snowing and it was just the most perfect evening.  We hung out with Tiff, Hannah, and Maddox the entire time.  We went swimming and lounged in the hot tub.  It was just nice quality time, minus the 2 hour wait for our spaghetti the last night we ordered in! 

I am so ready to celebrate the holidays this year.  I am excited that Cole's so happy and excited about it all.  Makes me thrilled for him to enjoy this. 

Last night was my Birthday.  Mom, Dennis, Cole, Bill and I all went out to Keokuk to eat.  We were going to go to Luds, but they were closed.  We went to the Cellar, which is a fave of ours!  We all had quite the assortment of food.  Dennis got BBQ Ribs, they were YUMMY.  Bill got a steak, Cole mini corn dogs, mom a Cellar burger, I got an Iowa Chop. It was yummy.  We all kinda shared our food.  Yum..  Then we went and saw the synchronized house.  It is so neat, then off to Rand park to see the Christmas lights.  It was beautiful! 

I hope you all have a very safe holiday season.  Merry Christmas to all and to all a goodnight.  I am hitting the hay!

The year is winding down...

We had a super productive last few weeks here.  I've been trying to clean this messy house, organize things up a bit, and keep it clean... with three messy boys here, it's almost impossible sometimes!  Throughout the cleaning and decluttering process we've also had some fun moments I'd like to share about. 

Last Wednesday December 8th was Cole's school Christmas Program.  It was such a nice short and sweet event!  I got the boys dressed up and we were ready to roll...

After the program we went to Bowen Diner and had supper.  It's one of our favorite places to go eat when we get to Bowen. Nothing beats a hunk of Pizza from the Jiffi stop, or a Tenderloin Basket from the Dairy Barn, but the Bowen Diner has Bill's all time fave... jalapeno poppers, and Cole's fave the Hamburger Pony! 

I finally got the photos from Thanksgiving off of my camera.  We had so much fun with the Agnews, and then we went to Grandma Jeans house where she had a mini "garage sale" set up for the guys to pick from.  She had clothes Grandpa had grown out of, or wasn't using anymore to give to the guys instead of taking them to the salvation army.  She had tons of socks, and some fun funky clothes.  The guys had fun digging through the treasures and then Grandma brought out the best yet, a pink mens dress shirt and GREEN dress pants.  Then we had to all have a fashion show with our new accessories!  It was a blast!

This weekend I finally got the Christmas Tree up!  I know, I am a bit behind the times, but I can't help it.  With so much going on it's just gotten pushed off.  It looks nice.  I love my new tree.  It's a bit fuller and rounder than our old one and about a foot taller.  It's gotten a hodge podge of decorations from all of Bill's as a kid, all of mine as a kid, and the boys ornaments. 

Thursday is Brody's MRI in Peoria.  I am taking him up there and then we are spending the night because I have my appointment with my psychologist first thing Friday morning.  I am nervous and excited all at the same time.  I hope it's not a hard thing to get through?  I want to pass with flying colors and be on my way to surgery ASAP!  As soon as the report gets in to my surgeons office, he will call me for my surgery date, which will be anywhere from 4-8 weeks from when they call me.  I am shooting for anywhere around Jan-Feb-March ?  I can't wait!!!!  However if I disappear and am not around after Friday, please come looking for me.  I have never been to a head Dr before, and what if they lock me up for good?!?!   

Please pray for my precious baby.  He's never been put to sleep before and I am a tad bit worried that everything goes okay.  I hope they figure something out with all these tests to explain to us if and why he's in so much pain.

The Christmas festivities will be here before we know it.  I can't even begin to think that far yet.  I still have a zillion presents to wrap!  Man, this is going to suck!!!! 

That time of year

I've just lived through another major hard week in my life.  Grandpa Trone passed away on Sunday November 28th at 1:45p.m.  He went so peacefully with all his loving family by his side.  He was in no pain, and I prayed for his comfort and easy transition into heaven.  I prayed for my Dad to meet him at the gates and welcome him.  Gramps would love that!  He loved my dad.  I thought I'd have a much harder time dealing with all this than I actually have.  My heart is broken that I won't have my Grandpa to go to anymore for questions and to talk to me.  He always gave good advice.  My soul is telling me to be grateful that he's passed on and is comfortable and no longer suffering with breathing and daily living.  As much as I want to be sad, I am happy that he's finally set free.  He can finally breathe, and finally do all the things he enjoys doing in heaven and not have any trouble doing it.  That brings me so much comfort knowing how truly happy and healthy he is now.  My heart just aches for my Grandma too.  She doesn't have anyone to take care of anymore.  She's all alone.  I know there has to be some sort of peace within her that she doesn't have to worry about Gramps anymore, but I also know her heart is broken because she's lost the love of her life.  She's lost her best friend.  The one person who's been with her the longest in this world is no longer by her side.  I feel awful for that. 

Grandpas service was really a wonderful celebration of his life.   All the daughters wrote out their favorite memories of them and Gramps and it was such a nice added personal touch.  My cousin Casey read all the memories and it was so comforting to hear happy stories of the past on such a sad day.  I pulled myself together and was able to sing his soul to heaven.  I sang "Wind Beneath My Wings"  and know with my whole heart he heard me.  He was my biggest fan.  He loved to come listen to me sing.  That was one of the final things he enjoyed doing when I worked coming to listen to me sing.  You know he was miserable when he stopped coming to hear me sing.  I sang his final song to him on his 80th Birthday, the day we burried him.  December 1, 2010.  Rest In Peace Grandpa Trone.  I will forever love you in my heart.  I will never forget all the wisdom you taught me. 

I have had such a busy few weeks, and the next are looking even busier.  Tuesday afternoon Cole has a check up in Hannibal for his ear tubes with Dr. Imhof. Tuesday night is Scouts.  Wednesday Cole has KidZone, then his Christmas Program at the School.  Thursday afternoon Brody has a Dr's appointment to get a physical done before they will do his MRI on Dec 16th.  Friday night I have a party in Farmington.  Saturday I have a party in Burnside.  Sometime in this mess I need to get my end of the year bookwork done up.  I also need to set up my new Christmas Tree, do my laundry and clean my kitchen.  My whole house could stand a good scrubbing, but I will do what needs it the most first!

Dr. Marshalls office called last week and I finally have my appointment set up with the shrink.  It's set for Dec 17th.  I am excited that I got this appointment before the first of the year.  If things keep on this track I should be set for surgery around Feb.  or March.  That will be fantastic. 

I have Christmas Presents to wrap up.  I also need to go over what I've bought for everyone and make sure I have everyone marked off my lists.  Busy busy busy!  It's such a busy time of year. 

You find out who your friends are

I know we've touched on the fact that I am a little larger than life.  I had a good friend today ask me a question and it really got me to thinking and digging into my soul to see if there is any truth to what she said.  Here it goes...

"Do you think that because you were so made fun of as a child, that is the reason you take to heart and really dwell on things people say to you now?  Is that why it bothers you so much when someone has a problem with you?  Is that why you want everyone to like you and why you want to please people all the time?  Do you think that because you had a rougher time of it as a kid, that now you have trouble with people accepting you for who you are " 

Well... GOOD QUESTION?   I may have a large exterior, and because of it some people are scared of me.  Some are scared to approach me, some afraid to stand up to me, some just don't give a shit, but then for some reason what others think, plays a big part in my life.   I try my hardest to please everyone.  I am a doer.  I do do do for everyone.  I do so much for others that my life and my issues and my stuff gets put on the back burner more than not, because I like to please people and help them out and keep them happy.  Very rarely do I say "NO" when someone asks me to help out or do something for them.  I know some people take advantage of me.  I know exactly who those people are, and I still allow it to happen.  Why?  Is it because I am afraid of not pleasing someone?  There are times when I've done and done and done for people and then when I ask a favor in return there's nobody to ever help me out.  I let them get away with it over and over again... Why?  Am I afraid to cause conflict or make someone mad?  Am I afraid they will think ill of me for saying "NO"  to them, or to confront them about why they give me the shaft all the time?  I'm the one people walk all over.  Time and time again, I'm the one. 

I'm a pretty tough cookie.  I really take a lot to get me upset.  I am always cheery and happy.  When I'm not, it's usually over something major going on, or a series of things that piled up over time and I've just held it all in for so long that when I explode, watch out!  Well I think I've reached a boiling point this week.  I am on the exploding end and LOOK OUT.  It's coming out in floods the last couple days and I am feeling pretty good about it. 

Everyone has their own life to live.  I chose to graduate high school, get married, have kids and here I am, 11 years and 2 kids later.  I stay home almost all day every day, unless I'm helping my Grandparents out with something, or we need something from town.  I don't go out much.  I can count the times on one hand that I've went out and did anything with my "friends" this entire year.  Yep, I said YEAR.  And to pull that off takes major planning.  I have to have a sitter, and I only trust certain people with my kids, so it's complicated finding someone I trust to keep them for the night.  Then I gotta make sure Bill is taken care of when he gets home, supper of some sort and make sure he knows where I'm at and when I plan on being home.  Because I only get out a couple times a YEAR I try to pick the perfect people to surround myself with.  I make sure it's people I trust and people who mean a lot to me.  I make sure it's someone I really will enjoy my time with.  Some way or another my mother is usually involved in my outing, very rarely do I get a night out where she's not involved.  I enjoy her, I trust her and I know when I am with her I will have a good time.  Why do I chose my mom?  Because it's unconditional.  I know that is who I want to spend my free time with.  My mother doesn't judge me.  She doesn't talk smack about me behind my back, and let's face it... we have a good time together.  My mom is my number one friend, besides my husband whom I chose to spend my time with.  I'm comfortable with her.  Other than her, there's a handful of others that I know I am safe with.  I know they love and respect me for who I am and what I stand for.   Those friends I can count on one hand also.  They are important to me.  Some of them I never get to see, but I know they love and support me from afar!

I've always been one to pick and chose my dear friends wisely.  I've been burned one too many times by people I mistrusted and I've learned from that mistake.  If you don't know my deepest darkest secrets then lets face it, you aren't my close friend. 

People get all sorts of confused about friends and family.  You pick your friends people, you can't pick your family.  Believe me, there are some that I'd have trimmed off the family tree a long time ago if I could.  I cannot stand when people say "you gotta chose your family over your friends"  ummm okay?  Since when?  I chose who I want to chose.  I let in who I want to let in.  It's my life.  I have friends that I consider family because of the way they love and respect me.  They treat me well and they deserve a branch on my family tree.  I LOVE my immediate family to pieces.  I don't believe in disowning your siblings or your parents, unless they've done something completely terrible to you, like molesting or abuse.  My Father, Mother and Brother are the world to me.  When my dad died, I came to realize just how short life is.  I realized how important immediate family is and I realized how important my TRUE friends were.  My Mom and Brother are the only ones I have left to depend on in this world.  No matter what anyone else says, we have a bond like no other.  I know that when the going gets tough I can call on them and they will be at my side in a heartbeat and support me through thick and thin.  These few people are the ones that truly love me no matter what.  Their opinions do matter to me, but they don't expect me to do what they want, nor do they expect me to change who I am to please anyone else. 

Fat, skinny, short, tall, black, white.  I am me. I want to make myself proud.  Not anyone else.  As long as I can go to sleep every night knowing I did the best I could, I will be happy with myself, it's when I can't sleep and stay awake worrying about things that is when I feel like there needs to be some changes made. 

Last night was a fun night for me with the girls.  I ended up having a few too many to drink.  I ended up having a talk with someone I would consider a friend.  Not that we've talked much in the last 6 months or so, but a friend.  Or is she?  She was a bit drunk too, so the tongues were a wagging I'm afraid.  She wanted to put her two cents worth in about some information that really doesn't pertain to her, it really doesn't pertain to me either, but I sure seem to be getting drug into it a lot lately.  This "friend" keeps telling me how good of a "friend" I am to her.  Then she proceeds to tell me All about what "really" went down, how the whole drama fest has played out the last 6 months, who's at fault and why, but then she wanted to know "MY SIDE OF THE STORY" so I try to tell her and don't even get 10 words out and she's interrupting me and filling in details that I didn't even know existed because they don't pertain to me or  "MY SIDE OF THE STORY"   so she goes on and on and on about all these things she's heard, how she feels what she THINKS is right and wrong and immediately I am brought to tears because I realize that this "friend" of mine has her mind made up. I could talk to her till I'm blue in the face, she isn't going to listen to a word I say, cause she KNOWS everything.   She says she is a "friend" and she doesn't want to chose sides or make me mad by what she has to say, but she won't even let me speak, I'm not kidding you, I couldn't speak more than 5 words without her shaking her head, saying "no no no, it didn't happen like that" and rolling her eyes.  So when she's done ranting I tell her "you say you are my friend and you want to know my side, but you won't even LISTEN to me?  You've got your mind made up, you think you know how this is, and you are only going to believe what you want to believe and I don't feel like trying to change your mind."  This friend looked at me totally dumbfounded for a second and said "you're right"  "mandy, you are totally right, I'm sorry I feel this way, but that's what I think"  so I said to her "let's just agree to disagree, and when you think you really want to hear and LISTEN to what I have to say, you give me a call and we can talk. There's no point in me even talking to you with your mind made up, you've already chosen a side, just call me when you want to really listen to me."  I meant every word of that conversation.  If this "friend" calls me 10 years from now or 10 days from now, I will tell her the Gods honest truth about what went down with me and my side of things, and I am a firm believer in there's two sides to every story.

 Until  she calls, then I guess I have a few things to consider... Is she really a "friend"?  I know she's not my bestie , but in all considered she was a friend of mine, or I thought so anyways?  I've never made her chose between me and anyone else, I am totally comfortable letting her take neutral ground.  I don't ask her about my arch enemy, because I just don't give a shit, but I know for a fact she FB stalks me and runs and tattles my life's tales to my enemy.  Is this person really a "friend"??  I gotta give it to her, she's the ONLY person who's actually confronted me about any of this drama with my enemy.  She was drunk, none the less, but she did spout it out and get her feelings out in the matter.  She didn't listen to any of mine, nor did she care to, because of course my enemy is always in the right and my enemy is her "bestie" as I was told last night.  So what do you call this type of "friend"?  Is she just another foot soldier for my enemy?  Someone who's going to one day stand in the enemies line of fire herself, and when she does GOD help her, because only then will she know the shit I've been through because of my enemy. 

 Why do I call this gal my enemy?  Well only because I have no better word for someone so horrible.  Someone who uses, and uses and uses people to their core, only to spit them out , cause drama in their lives and one day out of the blue turn their backs to them and stomp them to the ground.  The enemy has no heart.  I used to feel sorry for her.  I used to.  Till I realized how much she uses people.  I was sick of being used.  She never has any of her own money, never can pay her own way, always has a pity story to make you feel more sorry for her and her situation, when she's a big girl and she made her own bed.  She can't afford to put food on her table,or pay her bills on time sometimes,  but can always afford cigarettes, and booze, but I'm not too sure she doesn't let her friends pay her way most of the time, or my brother, it's easy to mooch off of friends ya know.  She's sneaky and snide and honestly I do still feel sorry for her. 

 I am sorry that she was never loved like she deserved to be loved, I am sorry she feels the need to take it out on all the good hearted people in this world who ever once gave a shit about her.  I'm sorry that even her own immediate family and her have rocky relationships.  I'm even sorrier that it's about something totally STUPID that she wastes years of her life not even talking to her own brother. That's one of the stupidest things, and I just can't fathom hating my sibling?  I'm sorry that even after losing a best friend, someone who she cared about the most in this world, and someone who also cared about her, she still doesn't understand the value of forgiveness and the importance of love and  lost time.  How quickly things can all just disappear.  I'm sorry that she is so blinded by jealousy of everyones happiness and good fortunes that she has to be so mean spirited to them because of it.  I'm sorry that she feels it necessary to bad mouth me and others just to make herself feel good.  I'm sorry that she has lived her whole life not valuing her own self worth.  I am sorry she hasn't grown up, just because you are considered a grown up, doesn't mean you've grown up.  I'm sorry she never had a true family structure in her life, and she got tossed around so much growing up.  I am sorry for all of this, but honestly I think she's the one who's sorriest the most.  She wants everyones pity, when what she really needs is to put her big girl panties on and GROW UP.  Boo hoo for you, so you had a rough life.  CHANGE IT.  Only you can make your future. Change your attitude, change your ways, change your life.  Get happy, fall in love, live your dreams.  Make them come true.  I can't do any of that for you, and neither can anyone else so get busy.  Make it happen.   

This is a side of me many people don't get to see too often.  This is my vulnerable side.  This is the me deep inside.  This is what I get when I bottle up years of hatred, torment and frustration.  This is what happens when you spend years getting used and abused and stupid me, I forgive and go back for more, only to get shit on once again.  I've put up with it for too long because we were family and I keep forgiving her. 

 I refuse to taint my life any longer with people and things that won't change and do better for themselves.   This time she broke the camels back with me, because she involved my child.  That's below the belt.  I won't stand for that.  This is nothing new.  This rough spell with my enemy has been going on for MONTHS and MONTHS now.  I am perfectly happy not speaking to her, or about her.  But then she goes and cries to my brother, mother, her friends, my friends, and her mother about me.  How horrible I am.  She's not happy unless she causes some drama.  She brought this newest drama in her life herself by sending her ex husband papers from the lawyer, I had NOTHING to do with this.  She drags me into it and I am sick of her doing that.  When will all you people see that she is the common denominator in all this drama?  I guess I can't expect you to get it right off the bat, I mean, I've known her for almost 30 years now, and I'm just now getting sick of her shit and finally getting to understand her behavior.    For months now I've had NOTHING to do with her and guess what, I'm still alive and living just fine on my own without her in my life.  I seriously think I could manage the rest of my life this way.  I've slept just fine at night.

YOU are not going to pick my friends.  I am sorry if YOU don't like my choices.  YOU don't have to.  YOU don't have to sleep in my bed every night, I do.  I am not going to die hating someone just because YOU want me to.  I am not going to let YOU choose who I speak to or who I associate with.  I am on a totally different level in life than you are, and until you can rise up to meet me on my level, then piss off.  Life's too short, and I'm not wasting anymore time on you, or people who say they are my "friends" but then prove to me otherwise. 

 If you want to be my friend then all I ask is for you to treat me with the love, kindness and respect that I deserve, and I will do the same from you.  Don't ever judge me until you've walked a mile in my shoes.  If you have a problem with me come to ME.    If you want to be my friend the phone works both ways, I am sick of being the one trying to please everyone all the time and make everyone happy.  If you want to be my friend and know what's going on in my life give me a ring, my number hasn't changed.  309-333-6040 Friendship takes time and effort, and I am sick of being on the giving end and not the receiving end for half of the people I truly do consider my friends. 

I am NOT perfect.  But daily I pray for guidance and strength to make it through another day on this earth trying to be the best me I can possibly be.  I am sick of all this negativity in my life.  I am trying to rid myself of the bad and let in some goodness.  I have major major changes coming my way.  I want to be open and honest and healthy for this journey to a new me.  I am ready to embrace some changes.  I am ready to change my mind.  I am ready to wrap my arms around all the people that are positive in my life, and hold on for dear life while they join me on this wild ride!  Out with the old and in with the new.

Boy I can't wait until I go see this shrink.  Maybe he/she can tell me why fat people spend so long letting people walk all over them?  Now that I've analyzed this today, I feel better and I guess I will eventually find out who my true friends are. 

Deficient

As I mentioned last week, I had to get all those vials of blood drawn to test my vitamin levels.  Yesterday I got the mail and noticed a letter from the surgeons.  It stated I am vitamin D and Calcium Deficient.  I now have to go on twice daily doses of both and repeat blood work in a month.  Just another couple pills to swallow every day.  They want to get you on track to where you are not deficient before surgery.  I am planning a trip to walmart this evening to get my pills.  Might as well start ASAP.

Brody has been walking all over.  He's getting better and better every day.  He's so cute.  He waddles and stumbles a lot, but he's trying more and more.  I love it.  Cole likes to tempt him to walk places with food, candy, toys etc.  It's funny to watch him .

Today I dropped an entire pizza on the floor face down.  ugh.  Brody was crying he was starved, I put a pizza in the oven and went to get it out and he came walking in the kitchen and looked like he was going to wabble into the oven so I went to grab him, the cardboard bent and pizza went flop face down on the floor.  Damn.  Brody was pissed cause he saw the pizza and wanted it, but I had to throw it out because it fell on the rug and was ruined.  Now I have to wash my rug too.  UGH!  What a day.  So I opened a can of tomato soup for me and ravioli for Brody.  Poor kid.  He got the shaft!

Last night was amazing.  Bill took off and took us to Basco for chicken.  We had a nice supper and nice to see everyone.  It was just nice to be able to eat like a family for a change.  The hunters are here and they are all like kids on Christmas morning.  It's so funny to watch them all get so excited to go on their big hunts. 

Tomorrow night my mom is having a girls night out party at her house.  We are having my undercoverwear there, also Thirty one bags, and then Scentsy.  It will be fun, food and good friends.  I am excited to have a nice fun night working with girls I know!

Saturday is our 3rd annual Christmas Home Party Extravaganza at the Peacock.  We have 13-15 vendors setting up to come let people shop till they drop!  It's exciting.  This is such a hit every year.  We've had wonderful success with this.  I'm so happy it's went off well all these years.  We are doing a bit longer this year 1-5 so hopefully people can shop before or after the ball game. 

Thanksgiving will be here before we know it.  I am ready for the break, but not ready for the hustle and bustle of the holidays.  It seems we are all so busy and running like a chicken with our heads cut off.  I hope we are able to keep it simple this year and enjoy the days.  The Agnews are coming to spend the holidays with us, which we are all excited and looking forward to.  Cole can't wait to play with the girls. 

I better get off here and get busy.  I plan on being ready to head out when Cole gets home. Walmart is calling my name, and I am not looking forward to going, but want to get my shopping done before the rush next week. 

Ouch!

It's Veterans Day.  Today I am so thankful for the brave Men, Women and Children that sacrifice their lives for our freedom daily.  I know that children aren't out there physically fighting for our freedom, but they do sacrifice when their parents are deployed and they are missing a parent at home for lord knows how long.  I have the utmost respect for Veterans.  My Grandpa Settles was a Veteran.  I believe without them the USA wouldn't be nearly what it is today.  Tomorrow Cole's school is putting on a Veterans Day Program.  Cole being in Cub Scouts, will post colors with the pack.  It will be a very nice ceremony I am sure of it.  It will be a proud moment to see my son follow that line of scouts to the flagpole and raise our red white and blue. 

Yesterday I took Brody to the neurologist to see if we can get to the bottom of his screaming bloody murder for hours on end fits.  He has ordered an MRI and wants us to take him to a Pediatric Eye Dr.  We will be getting appointments set up for those and they will call me with dates and times asap.  Hopefully we can get to the bottom of these horrible fits.  He just seems to be not having them, and then suddenly he's up all night again.  It's so frustrating.  I wish I could make him better.  That's the worst feeling in the world when your baby is screaming for hours on end and you can't stop him.  Makes me cry too.

I have yet to hear from my Doctor yet on a shrink appointment.  I was told once they received my payment for the classes, they would call me with an appointment.  My check hasn't cleared the bank yet, so I am assuming that it is still in process. 

I have been doing a lot of reading through all the millions of papers they gave me at my first steps class and decided to hit the "protein shake" isle at Walmart.  Boy... I was in for a shocker.  There are a TON of brands to chose from, and a TON of flavors, and a TON of options, do I want shakes, or punch like drinks?  Keeping the protein to at least 10g is ideal, but keeping the calorie count below 100 is optimal so you don't get bad diarrhea or the dreaded dumping syndrome that comes with gastric bypass.  Here I am with a baby in the protein shake isle and I happen to run across a lady I know.  She was looking behind me for Dr. Scholls foot pads.  I knew her sister had weight loss surgery, I was under the impression it was the lap band, but we struck up a conversation, I told her that I was having surgery,and she called her sister.  Talk about being in the right place at the right time.  Her sister got on the phone with me and told me she had hundreds of dollars worth of protein shakes, mixes,and flavors at home.  She had it all.  She's so far out from her surgery she said she won't use it ever again and would just give it all to me!  I couldn't believe it!  She's to the point now where she has to just eat one whole fiber bar throughout the day and she's good.  I was so happy to have talked to her.  She is going to meet me on Sunday and talk to me about before and after surgery.  I am so excited to listen to everyones experiences and hear all their tips and secrets. I am so grateful to her for meeting up with me and sharing her personal experience. It really means a lot to have someone to talk to. 

I have been doing all this research and to put this into perspective to everyone I will share a little of what amazes me right now.  When this surgery is done my stomach will be able to hold 3 oz.  they only want you to eat 2 oz. at each meal.  2 oz is the size of 2 ice cubes out of a tray.  Shocking!  It just baffles me that I will be so full after 2 ice cubes...  they want me to measure and be sure to stop eating when I am full.  I guess I will be full before I know it so I won't feel like even eating the 2 oz.  If you keep this up for at least a year and  a half you will see major success.  They also gave me some exercises to get started doing now.  I've been doing them and they are pretty easy actually.  It's all toning to keep me toned up.  The less flab the better.  Let's face it though, I will NOT get through this without flab.  Shoot.  I have flab now, I will definitely have flab when my fat melts away.  I would like to be toned though.  I will keep up with this part.  It's important to me.  The flab can be fixed later. 

I have been dreaming of being smaller.  It's crazy to me in my dreams.  It's shocking to imagine my body getting smaller.  I will be so happy to be rid of my double chin, my chubby cheeks, and back fat!  I can't wait till my body catches up with my dreams!

Brody is taking off.  He's walking more and more.  He really gets excited and then falls down, but today he realized to stand back up and go take off walking again.  It's so cute.  He was playing with Cole today, just laughing and laughing.  Then Cole burst into tears.  I asked him what happened and he said "he bit me mom"  boo hoooooo and he just cried.  I felt so bad for him.  Tonight he has a nice set of teeth bite marks right above his boob.  Poor feller.  It had to hurt bad, he has sharp teeth. 

I am signing off for the night.  I have rambled on enough.  I am going to watch Oprah.

First Steps Meeting

Last night I went and sat through a first steps class for my surgery.  I'm not going to say I didn't learn a thing or two, but most of it was actually going over what we discussed the first meeting.  I did learn a lot about the protein shakes that will be a major part of my life for a year or so.  I also learned about the different vitamins I will need and how to go about getting those in chewable or liquid form for the first few months after surgery. 

I also discovered where to NEVER sit in the meeting room.  In the same exact place where at the first meeting there was a total welfare junkie, all tattooed up, greasy hair and full of a million STUPID questions... (and I am a firm believer that there are no STUPID questions) she asked the dumbest shit and really took up a ton of time when all that girl needed was some one on one, and she more than likely will never complete the program because she won't pass the shrink evaluation.  Anyways in that very same seat was another stereotypical slacker.  She looked the part of a real winner.  Greasy hair, dirty clothes, very unclean appearance, gawdy makeup.  So throughout the meeting she winds up asking all these dumb ass questions that were basic common sense, but she sure didn't look like she had any, which is why she was asking all these questions.  She ends up spitting out that she's bipolar, she is on welfare and that she isn't sure she can go on a liquid diet with her anti psychotics.  This makes me wonder if she will pass the shrink evaluation?  There are all kinds that make up this world, but she sure took the cake.  I am NEVER sitting in that seat come hell or high water! 

Next up is my shrink appointment.  This is a lengthy discussion with him to determine if I am mentally able to withstand the life long changes that will take place with this surgery.  He will be the one that decides my fate and if I am able to be awarded a surgery date.  The Dr's office will be calling me within the next week or two to set up that appointment, then it is supposed to be 1-3 weeks after I see him that if he deems me fit, the Dr calls and gives me a surgery date, which I am told is usually 8 weeks away.  This makes me think that surgery will not happen for me till after the first of the year, more than likely sometime the end of January, or Feb? 

I was told that they have revised some of the program within the last few months.  One, is getting your labs done sooner, so you can build up your stores and recover from surgery faster.  Another is trying to get started on a high protein diet now, so that the protein is on board so I will heal faster after surgery.  The other thing is that during the 5 days of clear liquids, they want you to start taking 3 protein shakes a day to help with energy levels and brain function.  I guess they realized people were mentally breaking down in those 5 days because of lack of protein in their diets and not only was their liver shrinking, but it was affecting vision, heart and kidney function.  This seems to be the key. Clear liquids for 5 days, 3 protein shakes a day, then surgery.  Clear liquids for another 3 days after surgery, then full liquids for 2 weeks, then 3 weeks of pureed food, the start on solids. 

It's sounding pretty complicated actually and it's all a science to get it all in I'm sure.  I was told that you HAVE to drink 70 oz. of water a day after surgery to keep from dehydrating.  24 oz. of that will come from the 3- 8oz protein shakes I will have to drink a day.  You can't drink normal anymore either, they say no gulping, cause it will KILL you with pain, so you have to sip. Then you have multivitamins you have to take twice a day, plus a handful of other vitamins to choke down.  On top of that eating 3 meals a day that consist of 2 oz. portions each meal.  No eating or drinking 30 minutes before a meal, eat for 30 minutes, then no drinking for 30 minutes after a meal.  Whew... I am sure I will have a notebook and it will be my best friend for awhile till I get it all down and learn to get it all in! 

I am so excited for the next step to keep this process going!  I am thinking about traveling to Galesburg to the support meeting there once a month.  It's closer and should be not hard to find, it's at a church. 

Tonight's cub scouts so I have to get supper cooked so we have something to eat when we get home.  I also have to make sure homework's done and get my dishes done.  Busy busy night!

A lot going on!

The day is here for my First Steps Class.  Monday I travel back to Peoria to go to class and learn all the nutritional information and more surgery details about everything.  It's another 2 hour class, which I am sure will be crammed packed like the last one.  It will be loaded with papers and handouts and all sorts of useful information to help me before and after surgery. 

I stopped at the Lab at the hospital the other night and got my pre-op testing done.  I should know the results of that this week and be told what vitamins and minerals I will need to start taking now, to get my body built up before the big surgery.  10 vials of blood is what that whole workup took.  The lab technician looked at me like I was nuts when I handed her the orders.  She took 20 minutes looking them all up and seeing what color vials to use and if they were send outs or in house tests.  It was comical watching her through the window, scrolling through book after book!  Then come to find out they had to send them all out except for ONE test!  Ha! 

Grandpa Trone has been in the hospital since Monday.  He has pneumonia in his right lung.  He's full of fluid and can't breathe well.  Dr. McKenney is pretty uncertain what the outcome will be.  He's came out of bad situations before, but how many times can he rally and pull through his own death bed?  He's knocking on heavens door, but then he suddenly takes a turn for the better and shocks everyone around him.  Dr's, nurses, and us his family.  It's pretty touch and go with him.  Is he really getting better, or is this the calm before the storm?  It's so hard to tell what is exactly going on with him.  We just keep praying and showing him our love.  It's been so hard because I don't want to take Brody out to the hospital.  So I can only go see him in the evenings when Bev or my mom can babysit the boys.  It makes it hard on me not to be there for him like I want to be.  Last night he just squeezed and squeezed my hand.  It just melts my heart.  He still spouts off ornery things to the nurses and us.  It's his cute way of being "gramps" ha ha.

Last weekend was the big Halloween weekend.  Trick or treating, working at the bar.  It was a full weekend.  Then to top it off it was the finale of the 6 week karaoke contest.  They crowned the $500 winner and that was a BUSY night!  I even dressed up with the boys on Saturday night.  We went to the nursing home to see Grandpa and he got a kick out of all the kids dressed up!

Last weekend was the BIG Halloween Party for the kids out at Jeremy and Cassies.  I forgot to mention all that FUN.  They all had a blast.  They played games, Painted pumpkins...

Designed their own mini pumpkin pies... they all had a ball!  Cole dressed up as Yoshi this year ( the dinosaur off of Mario Brothers) and Brody was a Garden Gnome, but he wouldn't wear his hat or booties so he ended up looking more like a scarecrow!  ha ha ha!

The boys got way more candy than they needed through the weeks!  It will take us to next Halloween to get it all eaten!  They had fun and that is all that matters!

Tonight is Coles school fall carnival.  He's excited to go.  We took him last year and he had fun!  Theres games, prizes, haunted house, book fair, and his friends of course!  I hope Brody's a good boy so we can have some fun.  He doesn't do well with crowds. 

I will update more after my BIG meeting on Monday night.  I hope to learn a lot and will be happy to be one step closer to surgery.  

I am big. Shocker!

All my life, I've been bigger than normal.  I started out in Kindergarten bigger than all the other kids. I knew from then on that I was different.  I made it through grade school with a great group of friends, whom accepted me for who I was, not the size of me.  I entered Jr. high and kept those great friends with me.  I got tormented by upperclassmen, but chose to ignore them.  I was me.  I had always been me.  High school came and  I made even more friends, new friends and had a few boyfriends too.  I surrounded myself with people who loved me, and steered clear of the ones who didn't.  Every day in my head, I knew I was different.  I was big.  I was just as kind, just as smart, just as funny, just as nice, just as socially acceptable, but I was big.  To some I was fat, to others I was a slob, to some I was a monster. 

My parents put me on weight loss programs.  My parents loved me for who I was, and never made me feel badly for what I'd become, but they tried to help me take a path of health.  We didn't grow up in a house of junk foods. We NEVER had soda in our house, we drank tea sweetened with sugar twin or water.  I didn't grow up on Kool-aid.  We were poor compared to most families.  We cooked.  My mom was HUGE on veggies and fruits and portion control was always monitored , but I was big.  I got out and rode my bike, I played with my friends, tag, football, basketball, roller skating, kickball, hide and seek.  I was still big. 

In high school I met a great guy, he stole my heart, and I stole his.  We fell in love.  He married me, I was big.  We had fertility trouble trying to make a baby, trying to create our family.  We lost babies, we lost family, we lived our lives.  I have been big the whole time.  Diets come and go.  Weight falls off, comes back.  Sometimes more, sometimes less.  We have kids, we do things with them, we go places, we love them with our whole hearts but I am still big. 

I will be 30 in 2 months.  I have lived 30 years of my life larger than everyone else.  I have spent numerous occasions trying to hide in the back of the room.  I can read your mind when you look up and down my body.  Do you think I like to be this way?  Do you think I have never tried to change it?  Do you think I don't know the names people call me?  The stares I get, the glances.  Do you know that there are actually people in this world deathly afraid of fat people?  There are people who see me coming and will all but sprint in another direction.  I know people make fun of the clothes I wear, the things I am forced to buy because I can't find anything else flattering to fit my large body.  Do you think I like to be so different?  Have you ever worried about breaking a chair from sitting in it?  I never have broken one, but I've head of fat people doing that, so it is always a worry, something that's always on my mind when I go to sit someplace.  There are countless things I do different than you because I am big. 

I don't want to be this way.  I don't like my body.  I am not in love with it.  I am in love with ME.  The person I am, the heart I have, my spirit, my drive, my determination, my kindness, my personality.  Those are about the only things I have going for me in this world.  It's hard being fat.  It's not an easy task to get out of bed every day.  Most days I would just rather stay there, and not have to face the rude and ignorant people of this world, but I do.  I get out of that bed and I LIVE.  I want to LIVE.  I want to see my kids grow up.  I would love to see my grand kids.  I would also like to retire with my Husband and lay on another beach someplace new in this world. 

I know there are critics out there.  Everyone has an opinion and I am sure I will hear it all, but I have decided to share with you all my new journey.  This is going to be such a life changing event and I do invite you to share it with me.  Above all else in my life I am brutally honest.  I do not lie.  My family and friends know this about me.  I usually wind up getting in the most trouble in this world because I do have a mouth on me and I am not afraid to use it.  I don't take shit off of anyone and I say the things everyone else is thinking but nobody wants to say.  I cut to the point.  I feel like it's time for me to cut to the point with you all.  I am fat.  I have been fat my whole life, and I know deep down I will always be fat.  I have decided to make a change. 

I have been visiting a Surgeon in Peoria, Dr. Marshall, and I am taking all the steps to have The Bilio-pancreatic Diversion with Duodenal Switch.  This is a weight reduction surgery that will change my life forever.  This is not a decision I have taken lightly.  I have spent 30 years trying to cure this addiction I have, and with every other option I have failed.  My health is important to me.  I want to LIVE.  I do not expect to be skinny.  I don't expect to ever be "thin" but I want to be healthy.  This surgery is not a quick fix. 
It's a whole life changing process.  There are many steps I have had to take so far, and will have to take before surgery even happens.  I didn't want to even share this with anyone until I knew FOR SURE that it was going to happen.  I finally met one on one with the surgeon yesterday, and he approved me for surgery and told me that my insurance would cover the surgery.  I wanted to make sure it was actually going to happen before I spilled the beans and had to listen to all the negativity from everyone about me doing this.  I know everyone will have their opinion, or knows someone who's done this and had complications, someone who died, someone who regained back the weight... I know all this.  I know a few myself actually from all of the above, except for the dying part. 

I have had to go through quite a process so far and there's a lot more to do before I finish this.  I had to go to a 2 1/2 hour meeting with my "support person", who is my mother, and we learned all the types of surgeries, the risks, the good, bad and ugly.  We also met the surgeon, we saw people post op who have had this done.  We saw and heard their stories, we learned soooooo much at this meeting we came out of there so confused, because before we went in there, we thought we knew what we wanted done, and when we left, we had changed our minds completely!

Next I had to go back to Peoria for a Bod Pod reading.  I sat in an "egg" and it measured my body.  It told us my muscle mass, fat and water weight.  I will have to have another bod pod reading at 6 months post op and another one at a year.  This will tell the Dr whether of not I am exercising and gaining muscle instead of wasting away muscle.  When you have surgery like this done you could risk losing muscle if you don't stay toned up.

Yesterday we met with the surgical team, and Dr.  He helped us pick the perfect surgery for me based on what kind of success I was wanting to get from it.  He took the time to answer our many, many questions, and he approved me for surgery. 

November 8th I have to go back to Peoria for a first steps class.  There they will discuss exercise, nutrition before and after surgery, medication, and vitamins that I will be needing to keep a close eye on for the rest of my life.  This will be another major meeting that will be crammed full of information. 

Once a month until surgery I have to attend a support group.  If I don't go and get my group card signed then I am kicked out of the program and can't have the surgery.
I also have to get an appointment with a psychologist before surgery.  Once I meet the psychologist and get cleared from him for surgery, then I will get my surgery date. 
I have to get blood work now to measure all my vitamin and hormone levels now before surgery, and begin to get my vitamins on track before surgery. 

When I get my surgery date I will meet with the surgeon 2 weeks before surgery to answer any last questions we might have, after that meeting then I will have to go directly to a meeting with the Nutritionist and attend a nutrition class that day also.  This class will tell me about the liquid diet I will have to be on for 5 days before surgery, and also the diet I will have to be on directly after surgery. 

When surgery is complete I will have to visit a Exercise specialist to go over what I will need to do to tone up and not burn muscle, our goal is to burn off my fat, not muscle. 

It's quite an ordeal.  I've completed quite a few steps so far to get to this point.  It's been a month and a half of meetings, phone calls, and Dr's appointments.  I am ready to do this and get on the road to a new healthy me.  I am excited to change my life.  I am excited to shed some pounds and feel better.  I want to extend my life for as long as possible.  I love my life! 

I know people will be not happy I am doing this, and I can respect that, but I ask that you respect what I have to go through to live every day in this body that I am living in right now.  It's not easy being me.  Until you've been in my shoes and walked a mile, please don't judge.  I can answer any questions you might have.  I plan on being honest about my process.  I need people in my corner.  I want the support, that is why I am sharing it with the world.  It takes a team to play a game, and let's face it friends, this is the BIGGEST game I have ever played in,and I want you all on my team.

Off I go...

Running high on stress, and the emotions of life.  I feel like I am constantly spinning in circles lately.  I am trying to manage daily life around my house, cleaning, cooking, laundry, taking care of the kids, going to visit grandpa as much as possible, Dr's visits for Brody, scheduled tests for Brody, my Undercover Wear Parties, Working at the Peacock on Fridays, all the while trying to keep things running smoothly so I can make all my meetings in Peoria to change me and make me a better person.

Bill has a lot going on at the farm right now.  There's been TONS of changes in the last month.  It's exciting to make these changes, and see progression.  It's so exciting to see him fulfill his hopes and dreams for the way he wants things to go for our future.  He's also working on expanding his seed business with Kruger.  I think the yields on this years crops really surprised everyone around here.  Bill's super happy about that, and how Kruger compared to other companies.  He's motivated to grow and expand his business, which makes me so happy to see him succeed.

Bill and I have been through so much in our 11 1/2 years of marriage.  We've seen each other at our worst, and best.  He truly supports me in all my life's decisions and does his best to support our family.  I look up to him for taking such great care of us all.   It's so great to know that I have him in my corner no matter what. 

I want to figure out what's wrong with Brody.  Today is our Dr's appointment to compare tests from a couple weeks ago.  I am hoping that he's improved and that we can finally narrow this down and move on from here.  I don't like my baby sick.  It bothers me. 

Tomorrow Bill, Mom and I are headed back to Peoria for an important meeting.  We have to leave almost as soon as we put Cole on the bus.  I hope that we can be back in time to get him off the bus, but if not, Lindsay is going to come out and get him off the bus.  Thank goodness.  Hopefully after tomorrow the future will be set in stone and I can finally let everyone know what is going on exactly.  It's so hard keeping this from everyone, but I want to know FOR SURE what is going to happen before I let everyone know and something go wrong and not happen at all.  I am praying for a good day tomorrow.  I am so nervous and I don't know if I can sleep tonight! 

We stoked up the wood stove last night.  It's been so chilly here in the morning and night and we finally couldn't take it anymore.  We got the fire going, took the cap off, and switched the furnace over from the air condition to the heat.  Bill also turned off the water heater.  Our electric Bill should take a dive down now, finally!

Well I gotta get Brody to the Dr.  Then I have to run to Dollar General to get a few things,and come home to clean my house.  I've been working on things a bit at a time the last few days, so today I am going to finish up the small stuff and whip this house into shape!  It shouldn't take too long if I get into it and dig deep!!!  Off I go for the day!!

Sunshine and smiles

This week has been quite a bit less stressful than the last few.  Brody's still fussy, feverish, and not right.  We are working with the Dr to figure out if it's Mono, teething, or something else.  Hopefully we discover what it is soon. 

Bill & I bought some new cattle.  We bought 20 bread bows.  Last Sunday Bill came home and got me and the boys and took us to the farm to meet our new mommas.  Cole is so smitten!  He loves cows!  He loves taking care of them.  He was soooo happy to be out there checking them out and helping daddy feed them! 

Brody was not quite sure what to think, until they moo'd at him, then he moo'd back!

I have been making trips to Peoria lately in an attempt to change my life forever.  As soon as we get all the details ironed out and I am sure everything is going to pan out, I will be filling everyone in on what is going to happen.  It's been quite a time consuming event so far!  It's taken quite a team to make these trips happen and to make sure the boys are accounted for and taken care of while I am gone.  Thankfully my cousins Tiffany and Hannah live there so we have a place to flop in between meetings and such.  Our first trip to Peoria we had to do some shopping, of course, before our meeting.  My mom and aunt Carla were along on this trip, so was Brody.  Carla was staying behind to sit with Brody while mom and I were busy.  Thank goodness for that!  Here is a pic of Brody trying on a cute hat while shopping... he hated it!  Winter is going to suck this year... this kid HATES hats,

Guess I should mention how he HATES shoes and socks too... this is him after I put shoes and socks on him.

What a pouty sad sad face!  Poor feller!  He just can't stand shoes and socks on.  Tries so hard to get them off.  This face just breaks my heart.  I hate making him so mad by wearing them!  We are practicing for winter. 

This past Sunday was an amazing day.  We went in to moms and got things ready for a weenie roast.  It was so fun sitting out around the fire, roasting weenies, chatting and drinking with friends.  What a fun night.  They boys had fun and the best part... SMORES!

Gramps has been getting along well.  He has actually been pretty with it the last few times we went to visit.  Monday was such a beautiful sunny Columbus day.  We went out and loaded him up and took him for a nice long walk.  He was laughing and having such a great time.  He really enjoyed it!  It was so nice for Cole to get out and see him, and get to see him actually having some fun.  Last time Cole was out to see him he was pretty sleepy. 

We must have looked quite a sight the five of us out walking around!  It was such a beautiful sunny and calm day.  It was just a great visit.  Brody even enjoyed his ride!  Cole pushed him the entire trip!  Those two crack me up!  Giggling and laughing at each other the whole time! 

It's going to be a lovely weekend!  We have a wedding to go to Saturday.  We are also supposed to paint my grandmas living room this weekend.  Should be fun!  I am excited to do it all!  The weather should be sunny and warm too, that's perfect!!!

Here's to another great week everyone! 

whew!

Brody has Mono.  The blood tests came back positive for mono.  He's being treated and is still super tired and wore out.  He's grouchy a lot and cranky.  He sleeps, drinks, eats and cries.  He's been playing very little at times.  Poor feller! 

Cole's started selling boy scout popcorn.  He's excited to do that.  He loves scouts.  I am so happy he's enjoying it.  He took his first spelling test at school the other day and did great!  I was so proud of his penmanship.  It looked so wonderful!  I could tell he did a really nice job trying to make it look great.  He loves going to school to see his friends and loves class and learning, he just is NOT a morning person, most days!  He's ouchy grouchy every day and it takes a lot to get him up and around.  Poor guy.  He loves sleeping in. 

Bill and Keith are DONE with the corn.  Woo hoo!  What an accomplishment!  I am so glad they got through it without any major breakdowns and delays.  We really had wonderful weather once we got in the fields.  That was a blessing.  Now on to beans... oh JOY! 

It's been so chilly here.  We have not turned the heat on yet, but I think we might just have to.  It got downright cold last night.  I had brody in thick winter jammies for bed and even made him sleep in socks, which I HATE doing!  I don't like socks, so I hate making the boys wear them at night.  It's a quirk of mine.  Weird I know, but I hate it! 

I am so busy here lately!  I was hoping things in life would slow down a bit, but then I go and get myself involved in more things to keep me running in circles.  I know deep down it's all for the best, and it will be better soon, but for now life is crazy!  I'm having trouble keeping up sometimes!  It's nothing that can't wait, but I like to feel like I have things done better around here.  I am behind on some laundry and we have been working really hard with Cole on keeping his messes cleaned up and chores done daily.  He's doing so well helping out I really need to take the time to go to walmart and get him a reward for all his efforts.  I guess if I wait long enough it will just have to be a nicer reward! 

Well we are off to help Bill at the farm.  Then it's home for Bath's and supper and bed.  School tomorrow, and I am off to Peoria with Carla.   Busy day!!

Changes gonna come

Oh what a crazy few weeks it has been!  I have felt like I am spinning out of control most days.  I think things have finally decided to settle down a bit, which really makes me smile! 

Bill got some news on his lump.  The radiologist said it was a fatty cyst.  After careful consideration we have decided to do the watchful waiting game.  Bill really doesn't want to be cut open right now, who could blame him, and the Dr thinks we are just fine leaving it alone.  If it should happen to change we will have it taken out then. Thank the LORD for that bit of great news. 

Gramps got put in the nursing home.  24 hour care for him at home was getting a bit difficult with not enough hands to go around. Everyone seems to want to put in their two cents about what should be done with him, but not enough people would help pitch in to actually keep him at home.  It was really starting to wear on grandma, so I am now happy with this decision.  He really seems content more there now, than he was at home.  You would think for a man with 7 kids and their spouses, 13 grandkids and their spouses, we wouldn't have had such a hard time finding people to volunteer to come sit with him?  It kinda makes me sad. I guess you really do see peoples true colors when things get tough.  He enjoys company, and sometimes he's a tad ornery.  He's so out of it at times he would just die if he knew some of the things that come out of his mouth.  He's not this way, but it's the dementia setting in and it's only gotten worse and will only continue to get worse.  He has started to throw things across the room when he's angry, not at anyone, just toss things away from him.  He also cusses more now than I've ever heard him.  Grandma looks like the weight of the world has been lifted off her shoulders, and this makes me smile.  She was really looking pretty wore out there at the end of him staying at home.  

Brody has been a pistol for 3 weeks now.  He's had fever, cranky, whiny, miserable and making all of us around him miserable at times too.  We first thought he was teething, but then Thursday night he was uncontrollable so I took him to the ER.  He vomited on me the second we walked in the doors, and the Dr checked him out and said he thought he had strep.  So he gave us a ZPac and sent us home.  We gave him the medicine daily and then Sunday he was covered in hives, by Yesterday (monday) morning it was a full blown rash with hives on top.  Poor kid was miserable.  He also woke up with a new tooth!!!!  FINALLY!  When it rains it pours around here!  Took him to Dr to make sure it wasn't a drug allergy, and we are now waiting on them to get ahold of us when the labs get in wether it's scarlet fever, Mono, or a viral rash with hives?  Poor kids just miserable.  He was up a lot in the night and went back to bed at 7:30a.m. and slept till NOON today!  Geesh!  He is so tired from not napping or sleeping well for three weeks now.  He was playing catch up today.

Tonight is Boy Scouts for Cole.  He's all excited for that!  Life as we know it is crazy busy, and things are tough some days, but we wouldnt' have it any other way.   Bill's been working in the fields as much as they can get in them.  Some days are too wet.  Some days they have more important things to get done.  He's just been super busy all the time.  It's okay, because that means we are making money!  We did all spend Sunday evening together and we had a nice time.  I love my boys!  Hopefully things will slow down a bit soon, but I am sure Christmas will be here before we know it.  Ugh.  I am NOT ready for all this business of the holidays!