I know it's been months since my last post. I do apologize, but have been so crazy busy I just can't seem to take the time to sit down and type. It's too much of an effort!
Let's see where to begin... the boys had a FUN birthday weekend. Swimming party, Cole had a lot of school friends show up and he really enjoyed himself, Brody went off the diving board! They both really enjoyed it. The next day Cole took a few friends along to Bonkers and we made a day of it. They had a ball! Hot sweaty stinky kids is what we ended up with at the end of the day!
September was a wild month as well. I have done a lot of canning and gardening and just seem to take up so much time. I have been tending to the yard and house and trying to fill in and help Bill wherever I can as well.
I have been having some right sided pain and it continues to come and go. I have an appointment with my surgeon on Oct 16th to rule out surgical adhesion's and see what he has to say about it all. I also have been having some major female issues and because my labs came back with my blood counts so low, my Dr was worried so he's got me set up to have a D&C done on Oct 19th. He assured me it will be much less traumatic than the D&E I had done with the baby we lost. I was Five months pregnant back then, and it was such a traumatic event. My hormones crashed, I was a hot mess for quite a few weeks, along with the guilt and pain of losing a baby, I had some major cramping and pain from the procedure, but this time I was assured I would NOT have that kind of problems. He said I will take a 30 minute snooze, and wake up with a fresh uterus. I can only pray and hope this helps with my problems. It's looking like next week is shaping up to be a crazy busy week around here and this week I plan on keeping things caught up at home to deal with it all.
I have left the Undercover Wear company and joined Pure Romance. I really really LOVE this company! I love all the products and LOVE the women I work with. I think it's a positive change in my life. I have quite a few parties booked and am very pleased with my success so far. I have done my first two parties over the weekend and sold over $2100 in retail. That's awesome! I have another party booked for the 20th and Dr. Jones assured me I would feel just fine and be able to do that party the day after my surgery. I just can't lift anything heavy, which is no problem at all for me. I can get my awesome hostess to do the lifting for me. I only have two things I carry in with me!
Brody is LOVING school. He comes home full of stories some days. It wears him out and he is really learning a LOT. He knows his alphabet now, he can count to 12 without missing a beat and he knows all his shapes and colors and they are starting letter recognition and last week was "S" for Sammy Seal and he is pointing out S's everywhere now! I LOVE it! Makes me proud and happy we decided to go ahead and send him to school!
Cole has been having some trouble with fluency in reading. That seems to be his only problem at this point. They have a title 1 teacher working with him reading 60 minutes a week, and then I make him read to me 15 minutes a day here at home. He is getting better and better with it all. We let him pick out books from the book order and he's been reading through all of those and loves them.
Bill has been busy in the fields. We honestly don't see much of him. It gets kinda lonely at times. We do try to make family time a priority and squeeze in every second that we can with him. Even if he is dragging us along on one crazy adventure job after another. Brody got his very first combine ride last week and was AMAZED and so happy! He's also rode along with Bill in the tractor and big dump trucks and LOVES going with him to do that. It really melts my heart that he's spending some time with his daddy, even if it is only for a few minutes here and there. He needs it.
School takes up a lot of time. It's crazy how nuts our evenings get around here preparing for the next day. Thank goodness they aren't in sports or things. I just don't know how those mothers do it. I am NOT ready for that busy life.
Well, Bill called for his lunch so I am off to the field to deliver. I promise to update soon. If I get a second!
The Frakes Family
Monday, October 8, 2012
Friday, August 24, 2012
Our nutty summer!
Oh where has the time gotten? Canning, vacation, back to school preparations, birthday parties, boy has it been a crazy few weeks, or month actually!
Let's start with Canning. The garden project went over really well this year. I LOVE it. I love taking care of it, I loved planting it, I really really love that I am GROWING things and harvesting my own crops! It's quite an accomplishment for me. My little old garden has given us some goodies, but without the help of some friends and neighbors I would not have had much at all to can. I have been lucky enough that there are generous people out there whom, when they have gotten all they wanted from their gardens, they have turned the produce over to me. I feel so lucky to have gotten what we have got and am blessed beyond explanation that they've allowed me to come and pick and can up their produce.
I have canned to date Beets= 18 pts and 11 qt and 2 1/2 pts. Green Beans= 21 qts. Bread and butter pickles 34 quart 8 pts. Dill pickles 10 pts and 21 qt. and now we are doing tomatoes. So far we've canned 52 quart and 12 pts and we plan on doing more on Sunday. I canned up 14 quarts of mild salsa and 12 quarts of spicy salsa. Yesterday we canned up 28 quarts of spaghetti sauce and we have pears to do next. We've already canned up 8 quarts of pears and 4 pints, but have a LOT more to can just waiting on them to ripen up.
I have also put up some butternut squash in the freezer and frozen some green beans too. I also did up some freezer pickles to try. Not to mention that I have put up sweet corn in the freezer also.
I have had strep throat the last few days. Been sicker than a dog. I have laid around here and just felt rotten. I am seeing and picking at all these things wrong with my house. It's not clean enough for me. It really needs a deep cleaning. What the heck am I doing letting my house get so freaking nasty. I could almost cry. It is just bugging me. I took a few days to recoup and then I've been busting butt around here. I got all my laundry caught up and today I finally broke down and deep cleaned my bathroom, which needed it BAD. I need to pay more attention to the rest of this place but it will just take time.
I took the morning the other day and mowed the yard while Brody was in school. I can do a much better job when he isn't sitting on my lap the whole time.
Yep, I said Brody is in school. Wednesday I put my baby on the school bus. It was so hard to do. He was so tiny walking up those huge steps. It almost broke my heart. He has done so well. The biggest adjustment for him is going to bed at night and getting a schedule down. He doesn't like to sleep till the sun goes down. So he won't cash out till after 8:30. Ugh. He is napping later and it's messing things up. I plan on keeping him on the early to rise schedule over the weekend. This way he will still be on track come Monday morning.
Vacation was AMAZING. It was 7 days of pure amazement. It was the MOST BEAUTIFUL things I have ever seen. It was breathtaking. I have never seen mountains or glaciers, and the wild life was spectacular. We saw killer whales in the ocean, seals, otter, and dolphins. It was just so neat. Every day was something new and adventurous. I have a ton of photos and plan on putting together a photo book to share. It was a trip of a lifetime for sure. The only thing was leaving Brody behind. It was hard for 7 whole days. Canada was our last stop. We all hated it. Nothing wrong with Canada, but we were just so homesick and ready to get on the plane for home. We were never so happy to pull in our driveway and see Mom's smiling face. It was too long away from Brody.
Cole had so much fun on the ship playing in Club HAL with all his friends he made. They had daily activities planned and every day they would bring an itinerary for Cole to pick what he wanted to go and do for the day. He usually rushed us through breakfast so he could get up there and play! Bill and I took a lot of time walking the deck every day on the ship. Watching the wildlife and seeing the mountains. It was spectacular views every single second. We spent a lot of time outside enjoying the cool 60's and 70's degree weather.
The ports were so neat to stop at. There was a lot of shopping and different foods to try. We did a LOT of walking and taking it all in. We took a trip through a National Park, and hiked the trails. We found a grocery store and smuggled PEPSI onto the ship! We had gotten sick of COKE products after 5 days!
We ate FRESH fish and chips from a neat little shack on the pier and made friends with a little birdie who liked our french fries! We tried to soak up the culture, talk to the locals and just really enjoy our down time. Bill did a lot of napping, Cole did a lot of swimming and I did a lot of sunning myself and reading while he swam. We each did the things we loved and wanted to do. We had a ball together. It was really nice just spending some alone time with Cole. He gets shoved to the side so much because Brody is so needy and so demanding and it was really good for him to spend some time with just Mom and Dad. He will NEVER EVER forget this trip. I am so happy we were able to bring him along.
The boys had their party at the swimming pool this year. They had a ball. Brody jumped off the diving board. What a shocker! It was nuts. He did it over and over and over again. He's such a dare devil. Cole had a lot of his school friends and baseball buddies show up. He was so happy to see them all and play with them. It was a nice final hoorah before school started.
I just feel like I don't have a minute to think most days. Then I got to the point when I realized that we hadn't gotten our tax return back yet and this got the ball rolling on a crazy train... I called our accountant and she informed me that they were notified I needed to call the IRS. I guess that they got the notice clear back on April 16th and NEVER called me. Ugh. So I called the IRS and was informed by the nice lady on the phone that my identity had been stolen and that someone had filed taxes under my name and ss#. This set the ball in motion for a zillion things I had to do. Go file a police report, contact the federal trades commission, get my credit reports and study them making sure that there were no false charges on my records, call the Attorney Generals office, call the national hotline for Identity theft and also call the social security office. What a mess. All this paperwork, all this crap to do, and then having to paper file our taxes this year and I have to send in all this documentation that I am who I am and all these police reports and crap. It's been quite the darned headache. I am going to go nuts if this doesn't get straightened out soon. Hopefully I've done everything correctly and we get it under control soon. I needed all this crap like I needed a hole in my head!
Tomorrow is Face Fest at the Wood and I am going to watch my brother play. It could be the last time we see him in a long time. The band has no bass player and it's harder and harder for them to make gigs and get together so I think they are calling it quits for awhile. I can't wait to see him play one more time!
I have had the air conditioning off this week and I have been tempted to turn it back on, but our $315 light bill last month kinda has me conserving. That was just crazy. And to think we were on vacation for a week and our thermostat was set on 85 all week long. I couldn't believe it. It's been so hot during the days, but the nights are so lovely. It cools off nicely. The fans positioned in the windows brings in such a lovely breeze and it's so cool and crisp all night long. Then I keep the house all dark and shut up all day hoping to keep in the cool. I have fans running and it feels good, but it's still hot. I may cave in if this hot snap doesn't end soon. I hate this sweating doing nothing!
Well, I am going to go for now, hopefully it won't be so long before I update again. It might settle down some day around here?!?!
Let's start with Canning. The garden project went over really well this year. I LOVE it. I love taking care of it, I loved planting it, I really really love that I am GROWING things and harvesting my own crops! It's quite an accomplishment for me. My little old garden has given us some goodies, but without the help of some friends and neighbors I would not have had much at all to can. I have been lucky enough that there are generous people out there whom, when they have gotten all they wanted from their gardens, they have turned the produce over to me. I feel so lucky to have gotten what we have got and am blessed beyond explanation that they've allowed me to come and pick and can up their produce.
I have canned to date Beets= 18 pts and 11 qt and 2 1/2 pts. Green Beans= 21 qts. Bread and butter pickles 34 quart 8 pts. Dill pickles 10 pts and 21 qt. and now we are doing tomatoes. So far we've canned 52 quart and 12 pts and we plan on doing more on Sunday. I canned up 14 quarts of mild salsa and 12 quarts of spicy salsa. Yesterday we canned up 28 quarts of spaghetti sauce and we have pears to do next. We've already canned up 8 quarts of pears and 4 pints, but have a LOT more to can just waiting on them to ripen up.
I have also put up some butternut squash in the freezer and frozen some green beans too. I also did up some freezer pickles to try. Not to mention that I have put up sweet corn in the freezer also.
I have had strep throat the last few days. Been sicker than a dog. I have laid around here and just felt rotten. I am seeing and picking at all these things wrong with my house. It's not clean enough for me. It really needs a deep cleaning. What the heck am I doing letting my house get so freaking nasty. I could almost cry. It is just bugging me. I took a few days to recoup and then I've been busting butt around here. I got all my laundry caught up and today I finally broke down and deep cleaned my bathroom, which needed it BAD. I need to pay more attention to the rest of this place but it will just take time.
I took the morning the other day and mowed the yard while Brody was in school. I can do a much better job when he isn't sitting on my lap the whole time.
Yep, I said Brody is in school. Wednesday I put my baby on the school bus. It was so hard to do. He was so tiny walking up those huge steps. It almost broke my heart. He has done so well. The biggest adjustment for him is going to bed at night and getting a schedule down. He doesn't like to sleep till the sun goes down. So he won't cash out till after 8:30. Ugh. He is napping later and it's messing things up. I plan on keeping him on the early to rise schedule over the weekend. This way he will still be on track come Monday morning.
Vacation was AMAZING. It was 7 days of pure amazement. It was the MOST BEAUTIFUL things I have ever seen. It was breathtaking. I have never seen mountains or glaciers, and the wild life was spectacular. We saw killer whales in the ocean, seals, otter, and dolphins. It was just so neat. Every day was something new and adventurous. I have a ton of photos and plan on putting together a photo book to share. It was a trip of a lifetime for sure. The only thing was leaving Brody behind. It was hard for 7 whole days. Canada was our last stop. We all hated it. Nothing wrong with Canada, but we were just so homesick and ready to get on the plane for home. We were never so happy to pull in our driveway and see Mom's smiling face. It was too long away from Brody.
Cole had so much fun on the ship playing in Club HAL with all his friends he made. They had daily activities planned and every day they would bring an itinerary for Cole to pick what he wanted to go and do for the day. He usually rushed us through breakfast so he could get up there and play! Bill and I took a lot of time walking the deck every day on the ship. Watching the wildlife and seeing the mountains. It was spectacular views every single second. We spent a lot of time outside enjoying the cool 60's and 70's degree weather.
The ports were so neat to stop at. There was a lot of shopping and different foods to try. We did a LOT of walking and taking it all in. We took a trip through a National Park, and hiked the trails. We found a grocery store and smuggled PEPSI onto the ship! We had gotten sick of COKE products after 5 days!
We ate FRESH fish and chips from a neat little shack on the pier and made friends with a little birdie who liked our french fries! We tried to soak up the culture, talk to the locals and just really enjoy our down time. Bill did a lot of napping, Cole did a lot of swimming and I did a lot of sunning myself and reading while he swam. We each did the things we loved and wanted to do. We had a ball together. It was really nice just spending some alone time with Cole. He gets shoved to the side so much because Brody is so needy and so demanding and it was really good for him to spend some time with just Mom and Dad. He will NEVER EVER forget this trip. I am so happy we were able to bring him along.
The boys had their party at the swimming pool this year. They had a ball. Brody jumped off the diving board. What a shocker! It was nuts. He did it over and over and over again. He's such a dare devil. Cole had a lot of his school friends and baseball buddies show up. He was so happy to see them all and play with them. It was a nice final hoorah before school started.
I just feel like I don't have a minute to think most days. Then I got to the point when I realized that we hadn't gotten our tax return back yet and this got the ball rolling on a crazy train... I called our accountant and she informed me that they were notified I needed to call the IRS. I guess that they got the notice clear back on April 16th and NEVER called me. Ugh. So I called the IRS and was informed by the nice lady on the phone that my identity had been stolen and that someone had filed taxes under my name and ss#. This set the ball in motion for a zillion things I had to do. Go file a police report, contact the federal trades commission, get my credit reports and study them making sure that there were no false charges on my records, call the Attorney Generals office, call the national hotline for Identity theft and also call the social security office. What a mess. All this paperwork, all this crap to do, and then having to paper file our taxes this year and I have to send in all this documentation that I am who I am and all these police reports and crap. It's been quite the darned headache. I am going to go nuts if this doesn't get straightened out soon. Hopefully I've done everything correctly and we get it under control soon. I needed all this crap like I needed a hole in my head!
Tomorrow is Face Fest at the Wood and I am going to watch my brother play. It could be the last time we see him in a long time. The band has no bass player and it's harder and harder for them to make gigs and get together so I think they are calling it quits for awhile. I can't wait to see him play one more time!
I have had the air conditioning off this week and I have been tempted to turn it back on, but our $315 light bill last month kinda has me conserving. That was just crazy. And to think we were on vacation for a week and our thermostat was set on 85 all week long. I couldn't believe it. It's been so hot during the days, but the nights are so lovely. It cools off nicely. The fans positioned in the windows brings in such a lovely breeze and it's so cool and crisp all night long. Then I keep the house all dark and shut up all day hoping to keep in the cool. I have fans running and it feels good, but it's still hot. I may cave in if this hot snap doesn't end soon. I hate this sweating doing nothing!
Well, I am going to go for now, hopefully it won't be so long before I update again. It might settle down some day around here?!?!
Saturday, June 16, 2012
Who Me???!!!???
Whew... another MONTH has gone by and I haven't blogged a bit. Guess you know what that means... Summer is HERE!!!
I can't sit still, I can't sit still... honestly I just can't! One project after another. I can't believe it. My garden is coming along nicely. It makes me smile to walk out there every day and see the fruits of my labor. I am GROWING things! It's happening for me! I am pleased with what I have harvested so far. Not much, but so far I have picked TONS of radishes, onions, one banana pepper, and 2, yep TWO RED strawberries! I am constantly out there tinkering around. Weeding, watering, looking, fertilizing. It's time consuming, but I want a good bounty, so I'm busting my ass off trying to make that happen. I have onions, radishes, cucumbers, zucchini, butternut squash, spaghetti squash, peas, green beans,tomatoes, spinach, and cantaloupe and watermelon planted. So far everything has bloomed up and looking good all but a few tomato plants. They look pretty puny. I am just not sure what to think about them. I am trying something different next year, that's for sure. This year is pissing me off cause I have replanted them a couple times and still, they die out. Grrr... and we LOVE tomatoes the most. Those were what I was going to can and use the most. Grrrr...
We have a new family member now... The KUBOTA! Bill finally got his RTV that he's been drooling over for years now. It's brand NEW and all HIS. He's so happy about his new toy. He is finding a million and one uses for it on the farm, which is good cause it will help pay for it! Here we are taking it out for our very first family cruise and Mommy gets to drive!!!
We've been working to get the pool up and going at moms and that was a job getting the water in tip top shape. We refuse to let anyone swim in cloudy nasty water, so it took almost two weeks to get the water just right. Here is Brody on the day we filled the pool... of course he had to play in some water that day!
I am so busy all the time. Cole's playing ball again this year and it's so much fun going to his games and watching him play. He's grown and learned so much in the last year. He's doing so good and he really really loves playing ball. We are so proud of him and his team. They are doing so well this year. They've won all their games so far but two. Even when they lost, they gave it their all and tried really hard. He has a different coach this year. Coach Elbe moved up with his son, so Cole gets coach Rigg this year. He is so patient with the boys and does such a good job giving them positive reinforcement and they all just love him. He's taught them so much. He is actually the high school baseball coach, so if he sticks around one day he may be their coach again when they get older.
I have done so many projects this year in my yard. I am the one taking care of the yard work this year. I've been mowing like forrest gump! I really enjoy it a lot. I have modified a few things in the yard because of the fact that I am not fond of our weed eater! I hit up the green house this week for another project. I ended up wanting to put some perennials around our 911 sign. I am sick of having to hand weed eat around it or to drag the weed eater out just for that little spot. I am now proud of my new "garden" I have to lay the mulch out today. I got it yesterday at walmart. For now here is my work in progress.
We spend so much time out on our patio and in the yard at this new house. We just love it here. I love it so much. I just can't even describe how happy we are here at this house. This move was the BEST decision Bill and I have ever made. It was perfect for our family. It really has completed us. This property is the missing link to our family chain. This is our house we are going to grow old in. I am in LOVE with it.
Mom and Dennis came out last weekend and camped out over at the pond, but before they camped and fished we roasted weenies and made s'mores over a camp fire with moms fire pit that Dennis brought out. Beth's boys were out and Megan was here and the kids has such fun!
That night mom decided she wanted to get Bill and I a fire pit for our Anniversary next week. What a fabulous idea! She took me shopping this week and we bought my fire pit. We spent an evening this week putting it together and then roasted some s'mores with the kids. It was such a fun night. I love my new fire pit!
The day we got my fire pit I bought a couple chairs for the front of the house. We have nothing to sit on out there if the boys are playing in the front yard. I wanted something simple to put out up there to just have a nice seat to. I fell in LOVE with these chairs and am so happy that I got them both for under $40. What a steal. Cushions too. They were on sale. I love a bargain.
I do all Bill's online ordering entry for Kruger for him and I spent many days helping him in the shed doing inventory. I told him I want TWO things for all my work. #1 I want new tires on my van. He said YES. #2 I wanted a new patio table and chairs set he said YES to that too. I ended up going to Walmart and getting a 6 chair set on sale for under $200 and it was a $400 set I had had my eye on last year and lucky me found it on SALE yesterday and bought it! Wooo hooo. Best part yet was when I saw it on Wednesday and when I went back to get it yesterday it had went down in price another $25 yet! I got the whole set for $160 and was so HAPPY!!!! Here is my table and chairs. I have spent the morning today working on putting them together. I have the table done and half the chairs done but have to take a break. The sun is too HOT on me right now. I need to just take a break and go back out after lunch and finish up. I want to eat out there tomorrow night for fathers day. Bill wants me to make him BBQ Ribs and I plan on us having a nice family picnic. It will be a nice evening.
I am doing so good lately. I have been staying steady with my weight loss up until this week. I actually lost a couple pounds over the last few days. I think it's because I have been out working so hard and sweating my butt off. Once I get re hydrated I am sure I will gain it back? I am steady at 200 lbs lost. I feel fantastic. I have all this energy to burn. I just can't seem to sit still. I have been working on this blog off and on for two hours now. I keep coming back to it when I take a break.
I am proud of myself for all that I have accomplished in the last year and four months. I never pictured myself here in this place over a year ago. I never saw this coming! Mentally I have gone through a lot too. It's a lot to take in all this weight loss and thoughts running through my head. It's just taking my head a long time to wrap around the new me. I still find myself gravitating to the plus size section in the stores when actually I need mediums or larges. It's crazy to me. I can't seem to let go of the fat me. Maybe that's a good thing, maybe not? I don't ever want to forget it. I never want to be in that miserable place again. I love myself and my life too much for that. NEVER will I allow myself to go back there.
I have to finish this for now. I have some paperwork to print off for Bill. Till next time... I am just being me and loving every second of the new ME ME ME!!!!
I can't sit still, I can't sit still... honestly I just can't! One project after another. I can't believe it. My garden is coming along nicely. It makes me smile to walk out there every day and see the fruits of my labor. I am GROWING things! It's happening for me! I am pleased with what I have harvested so far. Not much, but so far I have picked TONS of radishes, onions, one banana pepper, and 2, yep TWO RED strawberries! I am constantly out there tinkering around. Weeding, watering, looking, fertilizing. It's time consuming, but I want a good bounty, so I'm busting my ass off trying to make that happen. I have onions, radishes, cucumbers, zucchini, butternut squash, spaghetti squash, peas, green beans,tomatoes, spinach, and cantaloupe and watermelon planted. So far everything has bloomed up and looking good all but a few tomato plants. They look pretty puny. I am just not sure what to think about them. I am trying something different next year, that's for sure. This year is pissing me off cause I have replanted them a couple times and still, they die out. Grrr... and we LOVE tomatoes the most. Those were what I was going to can and use the most. Grrrr...
We have a new family member now... The KUBOTA! Bill finally got his RTV that he's been drooling over for years now. It's brand NEW and all HIS. He's so happy about his new toy. He is finding a million and one uses for it on the farm, which is good cause it will help pay for it! Here we are taking it out for our very first family cruise and Mommy gets to drive!!!
I am so busy all the time. Cole's playing ball again this year and it's so much fun going to his games and watching him play. He's grown and learned so much in the last year. He's doing so good and he really really loves playing ball. We are so proud of him and his team. They are doing so well this year. They've won all their games so far but two. Even when they lost, they gave it their all and tried really hard. He has a different coach this year. Coach Elbe moved up with his son, so Cole gets coach Rigg this year. He is so patient with the boys and does such a good job giving them positive reinforcement and they all just love him. He's taught them so much. He is actually the high school baseball coach, so if he sticks around one day he may be their coach again when they get older.
I have done so many projects this year in my yard. I am the one taking care of the yard work this year. I've been mowing like forrest gump! I really enjoy it a lot. I have modified a few things in the yard because of the fact that I am not fond of our weed eater! I hit up the green house this week for another project. I ended up wanting to put some perennials around our 911 sign. I am sick of having to hand weed eat around it or to drag the weed eater out just for that little spot. I am now proud of my new "garden" I have to lay the mulch out today. I got it yesterday at walmart. For now here is my work in progress.
Mom and Dennis came out last weekend and camped out over at the pond, but before they camped and fished we roasted weenies and made s'mores over a camp fire with moms fire pit that Dennis brought out. Beth's boys were out and Megan was here and the kids has such fun!
That night mom decided she wanted to get Bill and I a fire pit for our Anniversary next week. What a fabulous idea! She took me shopping this week and we bought my fire pit. We spent an evening this week putting it together and then roasted some s'mores with the kids. It was such a fun night. I love my new fire pit!
I am proud of myself for all that I have accomplished in the last year and four months. I never pictured myself here in this place over a year ago. I never saw this coming! Mentally I have gone through a lot too. It's a lot to take in all this weight loss and thoughts running through my head. It's just taking my head a long time to wrap around the new me. I still find myself gravitating to the plus size section in the stores when actually I need mediums or larges. It's crazy to me. I can't seem to let go of the fat me. Maybe that's a good thing, maybe not? I don't ever want to forget it. I never want to be in that miserable place again. I love myself and my life too much for that. NEVER will I allow myself to go back there.
I have to finish this for now. I have some paperwork to print off for Bill. Till next time... I am just being me and loving every second of the new ME ME ME!!!!
Friday, May 18, 2012
Long one, but it's SUMMERTIME!!!!!
Whew, don't look now, but this year is flying by!
So much going on in life it's too hard to sit down and take a minute to blog at times. I feel horrible but here are some highlights...
I have developed a deep fondness for the outdoors, more than before. I love going out and working in my garden. I love taking care of the things I have planted in the ground. I am proud to say so far I have growing, green onions, radishes, cucumbers, green beans, all sorts of pepper plants and 10 tomato plants if they all end up surviving. I am so proud of my crop so far. Everything looks healthy and happy and I hope all our efforts pay off!
I have been the sole caretaker of our yard this summer. I have never had this responsibility before. I really do enjoy climbing on that mower and mowing away. It's some time to get in my own head and not have a kid pulling or tugging on me or screaming at me for a change. It's kinda some "me" time and I do enjoy it. I sneak out to mow while Brody's still in bed in the mornings and then stop every 10 minutes to pop in and check in on him. He sleeps through it all. It's a win win situation! Now that Cole's home from school, he will be in here to hear him wake up and he can come alert me to when he's awake. Now I won't have to stop mowing every 10 minutes and can get the job done faster.
Cole's home... yep, that's right. Wednesday was his last day of school. Schools out for summer. Wow. I can't believe I'm going to have a THIRD grader in the fall and a Pre Schooler. My boys are getting so big. Makes me happy, yet sad all at the same time. I love that they are both growing up and experiencing new things, but I want to slow life down a bit and make them truly enjoy every second. Time sure does fly right by.
Speaking of time... I can't tell you when the last time we were all together as a family was since last Sunday at noon. I am not even joking. Bill's gone out of the house most days before Cole gets up and he's been not getting in at home till after 11 at least. I've been lucky enough to go with him on a couple seed runs to get some time with him, and Brody was with us, but Cole spent the night with my mom so he missed out on some daddy time. Daddy's been really super busy lately. He really tries to include us when he can, but it's not too convenient to drag along a wife and two kids when you are already in a hurry. We end up getting to partake in the late at night trips. Last night Brody and I rode with him over by Fountain Green to deliver some beans and didn't get home till after midnight. A few more weeks and hopefully the hustle and bustle of planting will be over and next up, "slamming some hay" as Bill would say!
Baseball... Cole's started practice and tonight was his scrimmage against the other Southeastern Suns team. Our team won it was like 11-9. Cole made TWO runs and caught a couple balls in the outfield to help get people out. He's so proud of himself. What a difference a year makes. He seems totally more focused on his game and seems to know more about what is going on. Monday night is his very first game of the year. He's excited.
Poor Cole... Ugh, this poor kid. He got circumcised at birth and it's never been right. Throughout the years I have begged them to do something with him and nobody will touch him. They keep telling us he will "grow into it" and it's not happening. Here he is almost 9 years old and it's started to get irritated and sore and bothersome to him. Bill and I discussed it to great lengths with him and he is so ashamed. This is why I was so demanding with the Dr's all these years. I didn't want it to have to come to this, but we finally had to take him to a specialist last week. He needs re circumcised and the Dr said it almost looks like nothing was done in the first place. Ugh. Poor kid. It makes me tear up and cry to think about it. He's getting it done July 9th in Peoria at OSF. It's an out patient procedure. We have to be at the hospital at 11:30 a.m. and they will do the surgery at 1:30pm. It's only supposed to take about 30-45 minutes and the Doctor assured us that he would be in bad pain for only a couple days and then mild pain for a week and limited activity for another week after that, such as no swimming. We just want it fixed and fixed right. Poor guy. My heart just breaks for him. I know it's the right thing to do, but I am a nervous nelly about it all. I don't want him to have to go through any of this at all. Bottom line, it should have been dealt with YEARS ago. Good news is this is getting done right after baseball, basketball camp and right BEFORE our Alaska trip. Perfect timing.
Alaska... Yep, we leave on July 28th and fly From Peoria to Minnesota and then Minnesota to Seattle where we get on a ship for a week and set sail for Alaska and Canada. We are taking Cole with us. He is so excited and the poor kid really will deserve this trip after all he's been through that month. We are traveling with the cruise line Holland America on the Ms. Westerdam. It's a new cruise line for us, but Kruger has used them in the past and say they are excellent. Leaving Brody behind for a whole week will be tough and I am praying there will be no set backs with him and his sensory progress, because he's actually growing up and doing so good. We fly back into Peoria August 5th at 9 pm. so we won't be home till almost midnight, but hey, we will be home! I am going to LOVE spending some time with Cole one on one, he deserves this. He does get the short end of the stick a lot of the time because of Brody's problems, and Bill and I can't wait to give him some much needed time with just the two of us. He's so flipping excited for this trip. He just doesn't even know what to expect. He's never been on a plane or a boat, so this will be all new to him. I can't wait to capture it all on camera and see his reaction to it all!
Shawn's launching... no longer does he have failure to launch! He is in the process of buying a house in Denver. It's a three bedroom cute little house. He's super excited and mom and I are even more excited to get in there and get busy working on it for him. My baby brother is growing up and I am so happy for him!
Our Anniversary... June 26th Bill and I will celebrate our 13th anniversary. Wow I can't believe it. We've been together over 15 years now. I've almost spent half my life with him, give or take a few months! We've come so far in 15 years. I love that man more than life itself. I am so proud of him for all he's done for us and our family. He's the best husband and father. I am truly blessed to have had this man stand beside me for the last 15 years and go through all of life's trials and tribulations with me. He's my everything and I am so grateful he loves and accepts me back. My heart just grows fonder of him with every passing day and I am so happy that we found each other in life and can grow old together. He's my soul mate.
Brody... Yep, he passed his preschool screening. He is qualified for three years of pre k because of his birthday being before Sept 1st. So we have a plan in place for him to work on evolving into the regular pre k class. First year he is going to be in Mrs. Sprinkles class and it's limited to under 10 students so hopefully he will adjust well with the smaller classroom setting. 2nd year they will work on moving him between the bigger class and Mrs. Sprinkles class. The 3rd year hopefully he can handle full time with the regular class. We have to get a prescription from the Dr. for him to have OT and PT at school and they will come weekly and work with him. This will be awesome because she will help us recognize the sensory issues and help give us suggestions on how to best work him through them. I am excited to have an OT on hand working with him weekly. This excites me because with just one four hour OT session back in Feb, we sure did learn a lot and he has advanced a LOT with the changes we've made working with him. I can't wait to see his progress from regular OT sessions. We have been sitting on the potty sometimes. He hasn't done anything, but he is taking an interest in what's going on when you are in the bathroom. He notices we pee and poop in the potty and he want's to TRY to do it, but other than sitting there for a few minutes, he's had no progress yet. He is still taking many baths a day if he gets worked up. That's okay with me. He goes in there, settles himself down and comes out buck naked running when he's happy and done. I can't keep this kid inside at all. If the doors are open, he can get the screen doors open himself and you might think hes in his room playing when really he's out playing with his sand box, or swing set, or cruising in his cozy coupe car! If he hears Daddy pull in, he's OUT that door faster than I can get NO out of my mouth! He loves to run out to the shed and ride with Bill on the fork lift and load seed for people. He enjoys that so much. It's funny how he KNOWS what Bill is here to do and if it has to do with that fork lift, he's all over it!
Tonight is "Girls night out" and I can't wait. I need me some friend time. The "Chippendales" are coming to the Peacock tonight and a bunch of us are going to eat at Los Charros Mexican and then go see the Chippendales. It should be a blast. I love my friends. I can't wait to spend time with them!!!
My weight loss... Right now I am sitting right at 200 lbs lost. I haven't lost much at all lately, but I do notice my clothes getting bigger still and with all my physical activity I am almost certain I am building up muscle tone. I notice that I am not near as flabby. It's taken some time, but things are toning up nicely. I am wearing anywhere from a size 14, which I have to hold up with a belt to a 10-12 depending on the brand and fit. I am in Med-Lg-XL shirts, however I am noticing that my XL stuff looks a bit baggy and sloppy, so I am thinking I need to just go on down to a large top. I have been having fun garbage sailing because I am finding so much stuff for myself now. It's kinda fun! Not just jewelry or shoes either, but clothes! Today I really made a haul on Brody. I got him a TON of clothes for $9 I was so happy about that. Tons of summer shirts and a few shorts and a few pants for the fall. He needed the shirts.
I have so much going on I just can't sit still. I am so happy it's summer time and I can get busy and get things done without having to worry about getting home in time for the bus or stopping what I am doing to wait on Cole. I love this time with my boys. I can't wait for swimming and sun and fun!!!!!!
So much going on in life it's too hard to sit down and take a minute to blog at times. I feel horrible but here are some highlights...
I have developed a deep fondness for the outdoors, more than before. I love going out and working in my garden. I love taking care of the things I have planted in the ground. I am proud to say so far I have growing, green onions, radishes, cucumbers, green beans, all sorts of pepper plants and 10 tomato plants if they all end up surviving. I am so proud of my crop so far. Everything looks healthy and happy and I hope all our efforts pay off!
I have been the sole caretaker of our yard this summer. I have never had this responsibility before. I really do enjoy climbing on that mower and mowing away. It's some time to get in my own head and not have a kid pulling or tugging on me or screaming at me for a change. It's kinda some "me" time and I do enjoy it. I sneak out to mow while Brody's still in bed in the mornings and then stop every 10 minutes to pop in and check in on him. He sleeps through it all. It's a win win situation! Now that Cole's home from school, he will be in here to hear him wake up and he can come alert me to when he's awake. Now I won't have to stop mowing every 10 minutes and can get the job done faster.
Cole's home... yep, that's right. Wednesday was his last day of school. Schools out for summer. Wow. I can't believe I'm going to have a THIRD grader in the fall and a Pre Schooler. My boys are getting so big. Makes me happy, yet sad all at the same time. I love that they are both growing up and experiencing new things, but I want to slow life down a bit and make them truly enjoy every second. Time sure does fly right by.
Speaking of time... I can't tell you when the last time we were all together as a family was since last Sunday at noon. I am not even joking. Bill's gone out of the house most days before Cole gets up and he's been not getting in at home till after 11 at least. I've been lucky enough to go with him on a couple seed runs to get some time with him, and Brody was with us, but Cole spent the night with my mom so he missed out on some daddy time. Daddy's been really super busy lately. He really tries to include us when he can, but it's not too convenient to drag along a wife and two kids when you are already in a hurry. We end up getting to partake in the late at night trips. Last night Brody and I rode with him over by Fountain Green to deliver some beans and didn't get home till after midnight. A few more weeks and hopefully the hustle and bustle of planting will be over and next up, "slamming some hay" as Bill would say!
Baseball... Cole's started practice and tonight was his scrimmage against the other Southeastern Suns team. Our team won it was like 11-9. Cole made TWO runs and caught a couple balls in the outfield to help get people out. He's so proud of himself. What a difference a year makes. He seems totally more focused on his game and seems to know more about what is going on. Monday night is his very first game of the year. He's excited.
Poor Cole... Ugh, this poor kid. He got circumcised at birth and it's never been right. Throughout the years I have begged them to do something with him and nobody will touch him. They keep telling us he will "grow into it" and it's not happening. Here he is almost 9 years old and it's started to get irritated and sore and bothersome to him. Bill and I discussed it to great lengths with him and he is so ashamed. This is why I was so demanding with the Dr's all these years. I didn't want it to have to come to this, but we finally had to take him to a specialist last week. He needs re circumcised and the Dr said it almost looks like nothing was done in the first place. Ugh. Poor kid. It makes me tear up and cry to think about it. He's getting it done July 9th in Peoria at OSF. It's an out patient procedure. We have to be at the hospital at 11:30 a.m. and they will do the surgery at 1:30pm. It's only supposed to take about 30-45 minutes and the Doctor assured us that he would be in bad pain for only a couple days and then mild pain for a week and limited activity for another week after that, such as no swimming. We just want it fixed and fixed right. Poor guy. My heart just breaks for him. I know it's the right thing to do, but I am a nervous nelly about it all. I don't want him to have to go through any of this at all. Bottom line, it should have been dealt with YEARS ago. Good news is this is getting done right after baseball, basketball camp and right BEFORE our Alaska trip. Perfect timing.
Alaska... Yep, we leave on July 28th and fly From Peoria to Minnesota and then Minnesota to Seattle where we get on a ship for a week and set sail for Alaska and Canada. We are taking Cole with us. He is so excited and the poor kid really will deserve this trip after all he's been through that month. We are traveling with the cruise line Holland America on the Ms. Westerdam. It's a new cruise line for us, but Kruger has used them in the past and say they are excellent. Leaving Brody behind for a whole week will be tough and I am praying there will be no set backs with him and his sensory progress, because he's actually growing up and doing so good. We fly back into Peoria August 5th at 9 pm. so we won't be home till almost midnight, but hey, we will be home! I am going to LOVE spending some time with Cole one on one, he deserves this. He does get the short end of the stick a lot of the time because of Brody's problems, and Bill and I can't wait to give him some much needed time with just the two of us. He's so flipping excited for this trip. He just doesn't even know what to expect. He's never been on a plane or a boat, so this will be all new to him. I can't wait to capture it all on camera and see his reaction to it all!
Shawn's launching... no longer does he have failure to launch! He is in the process of buying a house in Denver. It's a three bedroom cute little house. He's super excited and mom and I are even more excited to get in there and get busy working on it for him. My baby brother is growing up and I am so happy for him!
Our Anniversary... June 26th Bill and I will celebrate our 13th anniversary. Wow I can't believe it. We've been together over 15 years now. I've almost spent half my life with him, give or take a few months! We've come so far in 15 years. I love that man more than life itself. I am so proud of him for all he's done for us and our family. He's the best husband and father. I am truly blessed to have had this man stand beside me for the last 15 years and go through all of life's trials and tribulations with me. He's my everything and I am so grateful he loves and accepts me back. My heart just grows fonder of him with every passing day and I am so happy that we found each other in life and can grow old together. He's my soul mate.
Brody... Yep, he passed his preschool screening. He is qualified for three years of pre k because of his birthday being before Sept 1st. So we have a plan in place for him to work on evolving into the regular pre k class. First year he is going to be in Mrs. Sprinkles class and it's limited to under 10 students so hopefully he will adjust well with the smaller classroom setting. 2nd year they will work on moving him between the bigger class and Mrs. Sprinkles class. The 3rd year hopefully he can handle full time with the regular class. We have to get a prescription from the Dr. for him to have OT and PT at school and they will come weekly and work with him. This will be awesome because she will help us recognize the sensory issues and help give us suggestions on how to best work him through them. I am excited to have an OT on hand working with him weekly. This excites me because with just one four hour OT session back in Feb, we sure did learn a lot and he has advanced a LOT with the changes we've made working with him. I can't wait to see his progress from regular OT sessions. We have been sitting on the potty sometimes. He hasn't done anything, but he is taking an interest in what's going on when you are in the bathroom. He notices we pee and poop in the potty and he want's to TRY to do it, but other than sitting there for a few minutes, he's had no progress yet. He is still taking many baths a day if he gets worked up. That's okay with me. He goes in there, settles himself down and comes out buck naked running when he's happy and done. I can't keep this kid inside at all. If the doors are open, he can get the screen doors open himself and you might think hes in his room playing when really he's out playing with his sand box, or swing set, or cruising in his cozy coupe car! If he hears Daddy pull in, he's OUT that door faster than I can get NO out of my mouth! He loves to run out to the shed and ride with Bill on the fork lift and load seed for people. He enjoys that so much. It's funny how he KNOWS what Bill is here to do and if it has to do with that fork lift, he's all over it!
Tonight is "Girls night out" and I can't wait. I need me some friend time. The "Chippendales" are coming to the Peacock tonight and a bunch of us are going to eat at Los Charros Mexican and then go see the Chippendales. It should be a blast. I love my friends. I can't wait to spend time with them!!!
My weight loss... Right now I am sitting right at 200 lbs lost. I haven't lost much at all lately, but I do notice my clothes getting bigger still and with all my physical activity I am almost certain I am building up muscle tone. I notice that I am not near as flabby. It's taken some time, but things are toning up nicely. I am wearing anywhere from a size 14, which I have to hold up with a belt to a 10-12 depending on the brand and fit. I am in Med-Lg-XL shirts, however I am noticing that my XL stuff looks a bit baggy and sloppy, so I am thinking I need to just go on down to a large top. I have been having fun garbage sailing because I am finding so much stuff for myself now. It's kinda fun! Not just jewelry or shoes either, but clothes! Today I really made a haul on Brody. I got him a TON of clothes for $9 I was so happy about that. Tons of summer shirts and a few shorts and a few pants for the fall. He needed the shirts.
I have so much going on I just can't sit still. I am so happy it's summer time and I can get busy and get things done without having to worry about getting home in time for the bus or stopping what I am doing to wait on Cole. I love this time with my boys. I can't wait for swimming and sun and fun!!!!!!
Tuesday, April 24, 2012
April hustle and bustle
Things have been pretty nuts around here. I've taken on this "garden" project and have really been spending a lot of time taking care of it. Then I decided to develop my flower gardens. I bought a crap ton of pavers when they were on sale last Thursday and went to town. I ended up having to make two trips to Macomb Thursday just to finish my project. Over 200 bricks and 35 bags of mulch later I can say my flower beds are set up and ready for my planters. I have been working hard on potting up some flowers to place in my gardens. I have decided not to plant the flowers directly in the ground, but to place planters throughout the beds. It looks really really nice and I am super happy with the way it has all turned out! Proud of myself for doing it ALL with NO HELP! I am so happy about that. It's something I have accomplished on my own and it actually turned out GREAT! I am so proud!
I helped sort and pass out the little Caesars pizzas last Friday at the school with the PTO, and then I got to do some pre under one roof garage sale shopping. I ended up bringing home a small tv for Brody's room, in case his 7 year old tv bites the dust, if it ever does, we will be in BIG trouble, so for $3 to have an extra on hand is pretty awesome! I just put it in his bedroom closet to have just in case! I got me a couple pairs of dress shoes and then got a few shirts and Cole picked out a ton of books.
Saturday I took the boys up to Conn Communication to make a stepping stone to support the WOW park. It's my mothers day gift from the boys. They turned out super cute and I am so happy with them. I have to go get them picked up and then they can go in my flower bed. I can't wait! I'm excited to show them off! They were both so proud of them!
Yesterday I made up some beef and noodles for Sunday lunch. Jenny & Joe joined us and we had a nice time, but it wasn't the same cause Keith and Bev were gone on their anniversary trip. We missed lunch at "grandma's house" That's something the boys look forward to every week and this is two weeks in a row now that we have not been there because she's been gone for two weeks! Hopefully next weekend we can get back into the swing of things? I think Brody is missing out on doing the dishes!
I planted my pepper plants yesterday afternoon and the damn ground squirrel was spotted out there soon after munching on them. Damn thing. He taunts me when I mow and now he's eating my garden. He's going to get some poison down his yard holes. I am sick of him! He's ugly and sneaky and he's pissing me off!
We fired up the charcoal grill for our supper and cooked up a few steaks. Bev and Keith came home and they joined us for supper. After we ate, the boys and I took a country cruise with Bill and it was a fantastic way to end our day.
Today I ran some errands, paid Bill's and then hit up county market and the drug store and came home to fold and put away all our laundry. I heated up leftovers for supper and was finally sitting down to enjoy my evening when Brody woke up crying. This is pretty unusual for him, but I assumed he was crying cause he had fallen asleep on the floor and was scared not knowing where he was? He came out to the living room and I soon discovered why he was so upset. He had vomit all over him. I got him in the tub, started the washing machine and ended up having to throw out his area rug because he puked ALL over it. I got him all cleaned up and took his temp. It was 102.3 He was weak and miserable. He slept off and on on my lap and within an hour was puking up again. He lasted about another hour and puked again. Poor fella. I feel so bad for him. He had another bath and is in bed sleeping now. I hope he's puked out. He's pretty pale and weak and looks just plain miserable.
I'm thinking Cole's not feeling the best either. He fell asleep in his room at 7:15 and has been in bed every since. He woke up once to go pee and went right back to sleep. These boys must have gotten some bug? Hope it's a fast moving one and they both get to feeling better by morning.
Friday was Brody's preschool screening. I forgot all about that. He did well. He didn't do so well in the hallway when we first got there because there were too many people and he freaked out a bit. He hates too many people. One on one with the lady he did pretty amazing. I was proud of him. There are a few areas he does still need lots of work, but we can address those and work on them from now till school starts. We meet with the principal and the early intervention group and all his therapists in May and set up his plan of care and where they will put him and discuss his goals and make sure we are all on the same page with his disorder. He's progressed so much in so little time and we are happy with the small changes we have made and how much he has changed with our changes. It's working.
I am just plain wore out today. I am not sure what's going on? Maybe I am just getting this bug, or maybe I am just doing too much? I wonder if I'm just wore out from all that I've been doing and not used to. The energy is there to do the stuff, but it seems to take all I have to get myself going every day. I am just pooped from the time I get out of bed till the time I crawl back in. That's before I even do anything to get that wore out. I don't know if it's that or if I am getting low on some blood counts or something? I guess we will wait it out and see what comes up? Maybe a few days of rest and laziness will help me out some? Maybe I need to take a few days off? With these boys not feeling well, I don't see that happening though. ugh.
Well I am off to bed. Hopefully there will be no puking through the night and I can get a good nights sleep. Hopefully the boys can too. Poor kids.
I helped sort and pass out the little Caesars pizzas last Friday at the school with the PTO, and then I got to do some pre under one roof garage sale shopping. I ended up bringing home a small tv for Brody's room, in case his 7 year old tv bites the dust, if it ever does, we will be in BIG trouble, so for $3 to have an extra on hand is pretty awesome! I just put it in his bedroom closet to have just in case! I got me a couple pairs of dress shoes and then got a few shirts and Cole picked out a ton of books.
Saturday I took the boys up to Conn Communication to make a stepping stone to support the WOW park. It's my mothers day gift from the boys. They turned out super cute and I am so happy with them. I have to go get them picked up and then they can go in my flower bed. I can't wait! I'm excited to show them off! They were both so proud of them!
Yesterday I made up some beef and noodles for Sunday lunch. Jenny & Joe joined us and we had a nice time, but it wasn't the same cause Keith and Bev were gone on their anniversary trip. We missed lunch at "grandma's house" That's something the boys look forward to every week and this is two weeks in a row now that we have not been there because she's been gone for two weeks! Hopefully next weekend we can get back into the swing of things? I think Brody is missing out on doing the dishes!
I planted my pepper plants yesterday afternoon and the damn ground squirrel was spotted out there soon after munching on them. Damn thing. He taunts me when I mow and now he's eating my garden. He's going to get some poison down his yard holes. I am sick of him! He's ugly and sneaky and he's pissing me off!
We fired up the charcoal grill for our supper and cooked up a few steaks. Bev and Keith came home and they joined us for supper. After we ate, the boys and I took a country cruise with Bill and it was a fantastic way to end our day.
Today I ran some errands, paid Bill's and then hit up county market and the drug store and came home to fold and put away all our laundry. I heated up leftovers for supper and was finally sitting down to enjoy my evening when Brody woke up crying. This is pretty unusual for him, but I assumed he was crying cause he had fallen asleep on the floor and was scared not knowing where he was? He came out to the living room and I soon discovered why he was so upset. He had vomit all over him. I got him in the tub, started the washing machine and ended up having to throw out his area rug because he puked ALL over it. I got him all cleaned up and took his temp. It was 102.3 He was weak and miserable. He slept off and on on my lap and within an hour was puking up again. He lasted about another hour and puked again. Poor fella. I feel so bad for him. He had another bath and is in bed sleeping now. I hope he's puked out. He's pretty pale and weak and looks just plain miserable.
I'm thinking Cole's not feeling the best either. He fell asleep in his room at 7:15 and has been in bed every since. He woke up once to go pee and went right back to sleep. These boys must have gotten some bug? Hope it's a fast moving one and they both get to feeling better by morning.
Friday was Brody's preschool screening. I forgot all about that. He did well. He didn't do so well in the hallway when we first got there because there were too many people and he freaked out a bit. He hates too many people. One on one with the lady he did pretty amazing. I was proud of him. There are a few areas he does still need lots of work, but we can address those and work on them from now till school starts. We meet with the principal and the early intervention group and all his therapists in May and set up his plan of care and where they will put him and discuss his goals and make sure we are all on the same page with his disorder. He's progressed so much in so little time and we are happy with the small changes we have made and how much he has changed with our changes. It's working.
I am just plain wore out today. I am not sure what's going on? Maybe I am just getting this bug, or maybe I am just doing too much? I wonder if I'm just wore out from all that I've been doing and not used to. The energy is there to do the stuff, but it seems to take all I have to get myself going every day. I am just pooped from the time I get out of bed till the time I crawl back in. That's before I even do anything to get that wore out. I don't know if it's that or if I am getting low on some blood counts or something? I guess we will wait it out and see what comes up? Maybe a few days of rest and laziness will help me out some? Maybe I need to take a few days off? With these boys not feeling well, I don't see that happening though. ugh.
Well I am off to bed. Hopefully there will be no puking through the night and I can get a good nights sleep. Hopefully the boys can too. Poor kids.
Saturday, March 31, 2012
Love days like this...
I absolutely love days like today. I woke up, got breakfast for everyone, got the kids all dressed and ready for the Easter Egg Hunts in Carthage. Last night we had all went Roller skating for the W.O.W. park fundraiser and had a ball. We had already came home and had showers for all, so now we just had to get up and ready today.
We went to the Square first and they had fun. Brody was quite flustered with all the people. He was upset and screamed and cried the whole time, minus the time that we got to hunt eggs. He was throwing such a fit and not having fun at all. I decided to take him to moms to sit out the next hunt. He's such a mess around so many people with his sensory processing disorder. I tried to make him stay and enjoy it, but it wasn't happening. Mom was happy to keep him, thank goodness. I didn't want to ruin the next hunt for the other kids!
They all made out like bandits today! We ate lunch at Moms I got Chinese and the kids had DQ and blizzards. I shared my Chinese with Carla Rodeffer. I ended up drinking too soon after lunch and my tummy couldn't take it and I puked for the first time in a long time. I hate to puke, but I do feel so much better once I do. What a waste of money.
We came home and I put the pork loin in the oven for supper and for lunch tomorrow. Tonight's loin I put italian dressing on it and injected it with it and baked it low and slow. For tomorrows I injected with coke, brown sugar, honey and some liquid smoke. I cooked it low and slow and then shredded it up into bbq pork and added bbq sauce and put it in the crock pot for tomorrow. I will turn it on and it will be yummy for lunch at Bev's. I also made up some cheesy tater casserole. I am also making a seven layered salad. Bevs making baked beans and some slaw and maybe some "thunder cake" from Cole's reading book. It's a recipe he wants to try for dessert!
I went out and mowed the yard. Brody went with Bill to deliver seed and so I had some relaxing time with just me and my mower! I got it all mowed and then raked on my garden some more.
LeeVi and Megan are here spending the night with Cole. They have been outside playing ALL day long. They are all having so much fun! It's almost bed time and I am pooped. We went with Bill to shut up cattle and just got done with supper. It's been such a great day. I just love days like this.
All that mowing and weeds blowing around has my head aching. Now I took a couple benadryl and tylenol and plan on hitting the hay now. Night night!
We went to the Square first and they had fun. Brody was quite flustered with all the people. He was upset and screamed and cried the whole time, minus the time that we got to hunt eggs. He was throwing such a fit and not having fun at all. I decided to take him to moms to sit out the next hunt. He's such a mess around so many people with his sensory processing disorder. I tried to make him stay and enjoy it, but it wasn't happening. Mom was happy to keep him, thank goodness. I didn't want to ruin the next hunt for the other kids!
They all made out like bandits today! We ate lunch at Moms I got Chinese and the kids had DQ and blizzards. I shared my Chinese with Carla Rodeffer. I ended up drinking too soon after lunch and my tummy couldn't take it and I puked for the first time in a long time. I hate to puke, but I do feel so much better once I do. What a waste of money.
We came home and I put the pork loin in the oven for supper and for lunch tomorrow. Tonight's loin I put italian dressing on it and injected it with it and baked it low and slow. For tomorrows I injected with coke, brown sugar, honey and some liquid smoke. I cooked it low and slow and then shredded it up into bbq pork and added bbq sauce and put it in the crock pot for tomorrow. I will turn it on and it will be yummy for lunch at Bev's. I also made up some cheesy tater casserole. I am also making a seven layered salad. Bevs making baked beans and some slaw and maybe some "thunder cake" from Cole's reading book. It's a recipe he wants to try for dessert!
I went out and mowed the yard. Brody went with Bill to deliver seed and so I had some relaxing time with just me and my mower! I got it all mowed and then raked on my garden some more.
LeeVi and Megan are here spending the night with Cole. They have been outside playing ALL day long. They are all having so much fun! It's almost bed time and I am pooped. We went with Bill to shut up cattle and just got done with supper. It's been such a great day. I just love days like this.
All that mowing and weeds blowing around has my head aching. Now I took a couple benadryl and tylenol and plan on hitting the hay now. Night night!
Thursday, March 29, 2012
Spring is Springing!!!
Spring is in the air! Wow has it been lovely around here! I am so pleased with the weather this year! The windows have been open, the fresh air blowing through the house and it has been so heavenly! I have been enjoying grilling out, working in the yard and getting my herb garden and my flowers planted. I hope that my green thumbs (yeah right) are in action this year and I can really accomplish growing my own flowers for my pots. I have also talked my husband into tilling up a small garden spot for me and I can't wait to get out there and get some onions planted. I also bought some radishes, cucumbers, zucchini, and green beans and plan on getting some tomato plants too. This is just something small. Something to do and enough to eat on. Just for us and Bill's mom is going to help me out I hope, cause I kinda suck at gardens! I just want to be able to walk out and pick some fresh veggies that I grew myself! I am excited for that!
Bill has finally gotten his seed orders sorted and on pallets ready to deliver to customers. That was a LONG and tiring day, but we got it all done and organized. Thank goodness. It's field time. Spring work has begun. Bill's been spending long hours working the fields and he's getting them all worked up. Chem Gro has been out and got all the chemicals applied and now we are working ground. He has a couple fields left to do and hopefully tomorrow will be done till planting time. That will start sooner than I want it to!
Grandma Jean and I made a trip to Quincy and got my vertical blinds picked up for my dining room. My birthday and Christmas present. I can't wait to get them hung. It will make such a difference getting them hung up in the dining room. This summer when we have to run the air, it will help keep the house cooler and darker. I am excited! I also bought 5 gallons of Thompsons water seal and plan on sealing the deck and swing set. I even bought a handy dandy sprayer to do it with. I am excited.
Sunday I ran our mower for the first time. I am a bit clumsy and it's crazy, but I have been scared to run a zero turn mower. Bill turned me loose and I got the hang of it eventually. It looks so great! I am pretty proud of myself for mowing and making it look so nice! Looks like I have a new job!!!
These boys are wearing me out! They sure do enjoy being outside. We've been taking some amazing three and four wheeler rides and going exploring together. It's so much fun for us. It's a relaxing and fun thing we can all do together that we all have fun doing! We've been all over the neighborhood lately!
I am so happy that SPRING has SPRUNG!!! It puts me in a good mood and makes the days go by so fast!
Bill has finally gotten his seed orders sorted and on pallets ready to deliver to customers. That was a LONG and tiring day, but we got it all done and organized. Thank goodness. It's field time. Spring work has begun. Bill's been spending long hours working the fields and he's getting them all worked up. Chem Gro has been out and got all the chemicals applied and now we are working ground. He has a couple fields left to do and hopefully tomorrow will be done till planting time. That will start sooner than I want it to!
Grandma Jean and I made a trip to Quincy and got my vertical blinds picked up for my dining room. My birthday and Christmas present. I can't wait to get them hung. It will make such a difference getting them hung up in the dining room. This summer when we have to run the air, it will help keep the house cooler and darker. I am excited! I also bought 5 gallons of Thompsons water seal and plan on sealing the deck and swing set. I even bought a handy dandy sprayer to do it with. I am excited.
Sunday I ran our mower for the first time. I am a bit clumsy and it's crazy, but I have been scared to run a zero turn mower. Bill turned me loose and I got the hang of it eventually. It looks so great! I am pretty proud of myself for mowing and making it look so nice! Looks like I have a new job!!!
These boys are wearing me out! They sure do enjoy being outside. We've been taking some amazing three and four wheeler rides and going exploring together. It's so much fun for us. It's a relaxing and fun thing we can all do together that we all have fun doing! We've been all over the neighborhood lately!
I am so happy that SPRING has SPRUNG!!! It puts me in a good mood and makes the days go by so fast!
Wednesday, March 7, 2012
That's just life...
My oh my, where does the time go? I seem to get so occupied and busy that I don't get to sit down to the computer much. I am on my phone more than anything and so that is how I tend to keep up with things, Facebook, email, texts, phone calls. I am not sure how I ever survived without my internet phone. I just don't know how Bill had one for two years without me? How did I ever let that happen? How come? Why did I ever resist that upgrade? I am soooo thankful that I finally got out of the stone age and into the reality that I can live in the 2000's.
My lack of getting on the computer seems to mean that I am spending more and more time being active in other areas in my life. I may be getting lazy keeping up with modern marvels and lazy corresponding with my friends, and for that I am sorry, but if it isn't something that goes through my phone somehow, I might not get it for a week or so. I seem to only get on the computer once a week or so. Being lazy with the computer does have it's advantages. It does... I am spending more time organizing and cleaning my house. I am becoming more organized with my life in general. I am current and up to date with all my book work. I am on top of house work. I keep meals planned, shopping done. I have been keeping my house spotless, and yes, it's lived in, but it's CLEAN and I am also spending more and more time with my boys. I do more with them now than I have ever. I have more energy and zest for life and forgive me for saying this, but for now, everyone else can just wait. I need this time to work on us. I need this time to devote to my family and myself. I should have done this long ago. Having this surgery has sure brought to light the things I was doing all wrong with my life. I am just sorry it took so long to realize how much I had let everyone around me down. I am really trying hard to focus on them now and put them first. I am also learning to put myself first and take care of me. It's not always easy, and I have had to learn to say NO a lot to a lot of things I would normally say YES to,
Things are far from perfect around here. I have my days where Brody's taken every ounce of my will out of me for the day. By the time Bill gets home I am ready to shut myself down and lock myself away in the bathroom. This usually ends up in a screaming mad child throwing a major tantrum outside the bathroom door, an upset husband because the child is screaming so loud and it's echoing through the house and me melting down even more because I can't even take a two minute shower ALONE and have some peace and quiet. Or one day this week I actually got up early, got Cole off to school, Bill off to work and Brody was still in bed. I planned to take a nice long relaxing soak. I knew Brody would sleep for another hour or so.. I just got myself undressed, and in the nice warm tub and no sooner laid back and shut my eyes and Brody was up screaming mad. I jumped out, dried off and decided I am NEVER going to get a moments relaxation alone time. I couldn't figure out why he was up screaming, until after I got him up and dressed and fed and went to get my phone and realized Bill had called my phone TWELVE times in a 10 minute time period when I was in the shower. Brody must have heard it ringing while I was taking a bath and it woke him up. He then had to let me know my phone was ringing. He kept saying "mommys phone" while I was getting him dressed for the day, but I assumed he wanted to play with it and I kept telling him "mommy's phone is charging, you can't play with it now." when in all honesty he was telling me my phone was ringing off the damn wall. What did Bill call me for??? He called to see if I had gotten the sticker for the truck cause the license expired in Feb and he was taking the truck to Quincy, was almost there already and realized he was driving on an expired tag. I had tried to give him that sticker 3 times and he kept telling me to hang on to it, so now he's worried about it? Of course he is... because I was taking a "mommy break" and I guess I just didn't deserve one that day!
Other than never getting a second to myself, I do tend to have more energy and ambition to get things done around here. I have really been on a cleaning organizing streak. I've gotten my closet cleaned out, book work caught up and filed away, office cleaned, dresser cleaned out, Cole & Brody's rooms purged and cleaned. I have worked on a few kitchen cabinets, and kept up with the normal house work in the middle of it all. I have a couple more closets I want o re organize here soon. They bug me. I need to move stuff around and put it where it's more handy than where it is now. It's bugging the crap out of me.
We got our taxes done today. That was a major under taking. I spent over 3 hours in there going over our figures and now I have a brain fog from going over and over it all all day long. Ugh. I hate tax day.
Other than the boring daily struggles of life I haven't had a whole lot going on. I like boring... it means nothing major is happening and that's the way we like it around here.
Till our next adventure...
My lack of getting on the computer seems to mean that I am spending more and more time being active in other areas in my life. I may be getting lazy keeping up with modern marvels and lazy corresponding with my friends, and for that I am sorry, but if it isn't something that goes through my phone somehow, I might not get it for a week or so. I seem to only get on the computer once a week or so. Being lazy with the computer does have it's advantages. It does... I am spending more time organizing and cleaning my house. I am becoming more organized with my life in general. I am current and up to date with all my book work. I am on top of house work. I keep meals planned, shopping done. I have been keeping my house spotless, and yes, it's lived in, but it's CLEAN and I am also spending more and more time with my boys. I do more with them now than I have ever. I have more energy and zest for life and forgive me for saying this, but for now, everyone else can just wait. I need this time to work on us. I need this time to devote to my family and myself. I should have done this long ago. Having this surgery has sure brought to light the things I was doing all wrong with my life. I am just sorry it took so long to realize how much I had let everyone around me down. I am really trying hard to focus on them now and put them first. I am also learning to put myself first and take care of me. It's not always easy, and I have had to learn to say NO a lot to a lot of things I would normally say YES to,
Things are far from perfect around here. I have my days where Brody's taken every ounce of my will out of me for the day. By the time Bill gets home I am ready to shut myself down and lock myself away in the bathroom. This usually ends up in a screaming mad child throwing a major tantrum outside the bathroom door, an upset husband because the child is screaming so loud and it's echoing through the house and me melting down even more because I can't even take a two minute shower ALONE and have some peace and quiet. Or one day this week I actually got up early, got Cole off to school, Bill off to work and Brody was still in bed. I planned to take a nice long relaxing soak. I knew Brody would sleep for another hour or so.. I just got myself undressed, and in the nice warm tub and no sooner laid back and shut my eyes and Brody was up screaming mad. I jumped out, dried off and decided I am NEVER going to get a moments relaxation alone time. I couldn't figure out why he was up screaming, until after I got him up and dressed and fed and went to get my phone and realized Bill had called my phone TWELVE times in a 10 minute time period when I was in the shower. Brody must have heard it ringing while I was taking a bath and it woke him up. He then had to let me know my phone was ringing. He kept saying "mommys phone" while I was getting him dressed for the day, but I assumed he wanted to play with it and I kept telling him "mommy's phone is charging, you can't play with it now." when in all honesty he was telling me my phone was ringing off the damn wall. What did Bill call me for??? He called to see if I had gotten the sticker for the truck cause the license expired in Feb and he was taking the truck to Quincy, was almost there already and realized he was driving on an expired tag. I had tried to give him that sticker 3 times and he kept telling me to hang on to it, so now he's worried about it? Of course he is... because I was taking a "mommy break" and I guess I just didn't deserve one that day!
Other than never getting a second to myself, I do tend to have more energy and ambition to get things done around here. I have really been on a cleaning organizing streak. I've gotten my closet cleaned out, book work caught up and filed away, office cleaned, dresser cleaned out, Cole & Brody's rooms purged and cleaned. I have worked on a few kitchen cabinets, and kept up with the normal house work in the middle of it all. I have a couple more closets I want o re organize here soon. They bug me. I need to move stuff around and put it where it's more handy than where it is now. It's bugging the crap out of me.
We got our taxes done today. That was a major under taking. I spent over 3 hours in there going over our figures and now I have a brain fog from going over and over it all all day long. Ugh. I hate tax day.
Other than the boring daily struggles of life I haven't had a whole lot going on. I like boring... it means nothing major is happening and that's the way we like it around here.
Till our next adventure...
Sunday, February 26, 2012
Lots of news!
Where to begin... there's been a lot going on since my last blog post. First off I have hit my one year mark. I am just shy of losing 200 lbs. I am now considered healthy weight for my height and my BMI is on the upper side of the normal range. This is amazing to me. I am so proud of myself. My Dr. was pleased with my progress and my labs look fantastic. My vitamin D has came up from a 18 to now a 26 and I am going to be on another 3 months of mega vitamin D 50,000 IU twice a week. I was on it 3 time a week but now that my numbers are climbing he seems to think that the twice a week
will be okay. My copper level is a tad off so I have to start taking Zinc because I guess the zinc and copper go hand in hand and whatever he wants my copper to do, the zinc will help it out the best. I also have to start taking a B-12. It's not low yet, just borderline and they did notice a change from my levels last time, so they are just keeping a close eye on it to make sure I don't become deficient in it. The B vitamins are essential for heart health, and with my family history we don't need any trouble in that area. Whatever I can do to help my heart out is great by me!
I am right on track with everything else, so the Dr said to get my labs done every 3 months, and he would see me back in the office in a YEAR!!! I love the sound of that! I can do the happy dance.
Now on to the important stuff. Brody...our little pistol. Since age one we've had some major issues with him. Not things that other people could really point out and say there was a problem, but things that I, as his mom was noticing. Bill even had trouble believing there was something truly wrong with him. Other than him seeing him scream and throw these awful fits for hours at a time, Bill didn't think that anything was "wrong" with our child. He didn't want anything to be wrong with him and didn't want him to be labeled. Neither did I actually, but I kept having this nagging feeling in my gut that there was SOMETHING terribly wrong with him. The older he got the worse things stood out to me. First off there was MAJOR speech delay with him. He was over 2 before he spoke. He then only said a few choice words. By 2 years 4 months he had a brief word explosion and was finally seeming to catch up with some speech. He was still about 100 words behind the charts of where he should have been, but what little things he was spouting off seemed to make life a LOT simpler with us around here. He was communicating and this seemed to help ease the strain of some of the fits he was throwing.
It was so frustrating though when we noticed through the holidays a few choice things that really started to bother me about him, and when Bill actually picked up on it and gave me the go ahead to get him re tested for a few things. Here's what we noticed. In a crowded place like a store or mall he would freak out. He didn't like going to Cole's school program. We thought it was the people? He just seemed to freak out bad. He didn't like it there. On vacation this summer I noticed as long as he was in his stroller in his own little space he was fine, but as soon as you took him out, he freaked out and was throwing fits. Thank goodness we took that stroller with us.
We also noticed at Christmas family functions that he seemed to want to go off into his own little world all the time. He didn't want to be out with us around everyone. He likes to stay in his own room, or he would want put in his crib to lay and watch tv or he would live in the bath tub. The bath tub... dum dum dum... it's like the key element to this whole thing. I started noticing that when he would get extremely upset, he would want to take a bath. Baths seemed to be the ONLY thing to settle him down at times. He would hound and hound until you put him in the tub. He would get really agitated and upset it you wouldn't get him in the tub. As soon as his little body hit that water and as soon as you shut the shower doors he was a happy camper. He would calm himself down in the tub. He would play in there until he wanted out and then he would get out and come running and be a totally happy kid. He is taking about 5 or more baths a day on average.
New years eve my aunt Susan was out here. I didn't say anything to anyone about him or these habits of his, but with a house full of people and kids, he didn't want nothing to do with anyone. He settled into his room, wanted in his crib or lived in the tub. Susan picked up on this too and said something about Autistic kids doing these things. Bill had been kinda in denial about this all for so long, but that night with Susan here he started to listen to what she had to say. After that night he finally realized that things just weren't quite right with Brody. He finally agreed that I needed to do whatever I needed to do to help figure this out and make life a bit easier on us all. He also didn't like feeling so rejected by him all the time. He's just not the loving kid that Cole was.
Brody has been in the early intervention program for over a year now. He gets evaluated by a speech therapist, developmental therapist and has supposed to been getting evaluated by an occupational therapist, but there isn't one in our area right now. Luckily Chuck the guy through early intervention was able to pull some strings with Megan a therapist from the Quad Cities and he had 4 families who needed evaluated, so she agreed to come down here a day and see these kids.
Megan came and spent over 3 hours evaluating Brody. He showed her all his true colors that day. He was an angel, a terror and threw a few fits now and again. She was able to see it all. She asked about 1,000 or more questions and graded him on my responses and what she could see for herself. It was so overwhelming, but by the time she left that day, we had a diagnosis.
Brody has Sensory Processing Disorder. This is a highly complex and complicated diagnosis. I am still learning so much about it, but all the things I see and hear about it, nails Brody on the head to a T. I am finding more and more that this is so highly associated with Autism and the spectrum that it's no wonder that was the gut feeling that I'd been having for so long. Turns out that he could eventually get diagnosed with something on the spectrum when he's a bit older and they see more things stand out with his traits and personality. For now, I don't really want to label him, I just want to get him all the help I can possibly get him and know how to best help him fit in at school and learn all he can and be all he can be.
I have some therapy things I am doing with him daily. Brushing, and joint compressions and those things really seem to help calm him down and put him in a better place. With just a weeks time of doing these things, and doing a few of the tips and tricks that Megan the Occupational therapist suggested, he's really taken to it all. He's calmed down a lot and seems to want to associate with Bill more. It was a jam packed day with her and she told me soooo many things, so I have had to read up on more and study this disorder.
One of the main things about this disorder is the crowds and noise really bother him because he just can't process it all. We normal people, tend to tune out the background noises, with Brody it's amplified and he can't tune it out. His little brain just can't quite process it all just yet and this is where he throws fits, screams and acts out. He just flips out and melts down because he doesn't know any other way to calm himself down and tune it out. It's like nails on a chalkboard to him.
He takes comfort in his "space" that is why his room, his crib and his bath tub are his safe zones. We are working on putting up a pop up tent to the dining room to give him another place to go calm down, in hopes that when school starts he can go to the tent if he has an issue and needs a place to go isolate himself and chill out. These kids get overloaded really easy and need time outs for themselves to calm their brains down a lot.
Brody also tends to get pretty upset with different voices. If Bill talks to him with a baby voice and trying to baby talk him, that pitch really must bother him because we have noticed that it sets him off. So Bill's working on talking normal to him now and Brody seems to really warm up to him more now. He's also been working on firmer touch. You'd think that gentleness is key with kids, but sensory processing disorder kids don't process light touch.. When you lightly touch them they immediately think that it is going to hurt and can sometimes have the sensations that they are being burned. So firmer touch, bear hugs, seem to be what works best. We've been doing this more with him and it seems to help a lot. He LOVES it. Loves the brushing therapy where you firmly take this plastic brush and stroke his skin. This therapy helps him become aware of his entire body and limbs. Sensory kids seem to not know what body parts actually belong to them. They don't realize their body is their own. This brushing helps them know they are all there. The joint compressions really calm him down and settle him down. The more I do them on him the more relaxed he is.
I am a momma bear true and true and I KNEW something was not right with my kid. When you know you just know. Never ignore your gut feelings. I am so happy to have a name for all this now. I am happy to know where to go from here and things I can finally do to help him out. Not just things that let him slip through the cracks and get lost in the shuffle. Our child is going to be something some day. I want him to have a chance to do just the same as every other kid out there and I will do whatever it takes to make that happen. This includes pushing and pushing until we figure him out!
Eventually when school starts in August we may have to take him to the Autism clinic and narrow down the diagnosis to better help him blend in at school and for his education, but for now this is what we got and I am doing all the research and all the things I've been taught to help him out.
It's just amazing to Bill and I how a few little things can totally change a kid in ONE week! Wow! I can't wait to see how these things help out in the long run! We are so blessed!
Mernie had her surgery on Monday. It was a long day, but she came out switched and she is out of the hospital and home now. She's on her journey to her weight loss success and I am so happy and proud of her. She is going to rock this stuff!!!
Cole spent last night with Jenny and she took him to the skating rink so he could skate! He's been looking forward to the rink opening up all winter long. He's so happy!
This week I plan on just getting things organized here at home. Catching up from a busy week of running to Peoria twice and not being home much. I am about caught up, but then I have more things I would like to get accomplished that don't really stand out, but to me I want to get done and cleaned out and up!
So much to do, so little time!
will be okay. My copper level is a tad off so I have to start taking Zinc because I guess the zinc and copper go hand in hand and whatever he wants my copper to do, the zinc will help it out the best. I also have to start taking a B-12. It's not low yet, just borderline and they did notice a change from my levels last time, so they are just keeping a close eye on it to make sure I don't become deficient in it. The B vitamins are essential for heart health, and with my family history we don't need any trouble in that area. Whatever I can do to help my heart out is great by me!
I am right on track with everything else, so the Dr said to get my labs done every 3 months, and he would see me back in the office in a YEAR!!! I love the sound of that! I can do the happy dance.
Now on to the important stuff. Brody...our little pistol. Since age one we've had some major issues with him. Not things that other people could really point out and say there was a problem, but things that I, as his mom was noticing. Bill even had trouble believing there was something truly wrong with him. Other than him seeing him scream and throw these awful fits for hours at a time, Bill didn't think that anything was "wrong" with our child. He didn't want anything to be wrong with him and didn't want him to be labeled. Neither did I actually, but I kept having this nagging feeling in my gut that there was SOMETHING terribly wrong with him. The older he got the worse things stood out to me. First off there was MAJOR speech delay with him. He was over 2 before he spoke. He then only said a few choice words. By 2 years 4 months he had a brief word explosion and was finally seeming to catch up with some speech. He was still about 100 words behind the charts of where he should have been, but what little things he was spouting off seemed to make life a LOT simpler with us around here. He was communicating and this seemed to help ease the strain of some of the fits he was throwing.
It was so frustrating though when we noticed through the holidays a few choice things that really started to bother me about him, and when Bill actually picked up on it and gave me the go ahead to get him re tested for a few things. Here's what we noticed. In a crowded place like a store or mall he would freak out. He didn't like going to Cole's school program. We thought it was the people? He just seemed to freak out bad. He didn't like it there. On vacation this summer I noticed as long as he was in his stroller in his own little space he was fine, but as soon as you took him out, he freaked out and was throwing fits. Thank goodness we took that stroller with us.
We also noticed at Christmas family functions that he seemed to want to go off into his own little world all the time. He didn't want to be out with us around everyone. He likes to stay in his own room, or he would want put in his crib to lay and watch tv or he would live in the bath tub. The bath tub... dum dum dum... it's like the key element to this whole thing. I started noticing that when he would get extremely upset, he would want to take a bath. Baths seemed to be the ONLY thing to settle him down at times. He would hound and hound until you put him in the tub. He would get really agitated and upset it you wouldn't get him in the tub. As soon as his little body hit that water and as soon as you shut the shower doors he was a happy camper. He would calm himself down in the tub. He would play in there until he wanted out and then he would get out and come running and be a totally happy kid. He is taking about 5 or more baths a day on average.
New years eve my aunt Susan was out here. I didn't say anything to anyone about him or these habits of his, but with a house full of people and kids, he didn't want nothing to do with anyone. He settled into his room, wanted in his crib or lived in the tub. Susan picked up on this too and said something about Autistic kids doing these things. Bill had been kinda in denial about this all for so long, but that night with Susan here he started to listen to what she had to say. After that night he finally realized that things just weren't quite right with Brody. He finally agreed that I needed to do whatever I needed to do to help figure this out and make life a bit easier on us all. He also didn't like feeling so rejected by him all the time. He's just not the loving kid that Cole was.
Brody has been in the early intervention program for over a year now. He gets evaluated by a speech therapist, developmental therapist and has supposed to been getting evaluated by an occupational therapist, but there isn't one in our area right now. Luckily Chuck the guy through early intervention was able to pull some strings with Megan a therapist from the Quad Cities and he had 4 families who needed evaluated, so she agreed to come down here a day and see these kids.
Megan came and spent over 3 hours evaluating Brody. He showed her all his true colors that day. He was an angel, a terror and threw a few fits now and again. She was able to see it all. She asked about 1,000 or more questions and graded him on my responses and what she could see for herself. It was so overwhelming, but by the time she left that day, we had a diagnosis.
Brody has Sensory Processing Disorder. This is a highly complex and complicated diagnosis. I am still learning so much about it, but all the things I see and hear about it, nails Brody on the head to a T. I am finding more and more that this is so highly associated with Autism and the spectrum that it's no wonder that was the gut feeling that I'd been having for so long. Turns out that he could eventually get diagnosed with something on the spectrum when he's a bit older and they see more things stand out with his traits and personality. For now, I don't really want to label him, I just want to get him all the help I can possibly get him and know how to best help him fit in at school and learn all he can and be all he can be.
I have some therapy things I am doing with him daily. Brushing, and joint compressions and those things really seem to help calm him down and put him in a better place. With just a weeks time of doing these things, and doing a few of the tips and tricks that Megan the Occupational therapist suggested, he's really taken to it all. He's calmed down a lot and seems to want to associate with Bill more. It was a jam packed day with her and she told me soooo many things, so I have had to read up on more and study this disorder.
One of the main things about this disorder is the crowds and noise really bother him because he just can't process it all. We normal people, tend to tune out the background noises, with Brody it's amplified and he can't tune it out. His little brain just can't quite process it all just yet and this is where he throws fits, screams and acts out. He just flips out and melts down because he doesn't know any other way to calm himself down and tune it out. It's like nails on a chalkboard to him.
He takes comfort in his "space" that is why his room, his crib and his bath tub are his safe zones. We are working on putting up a pop up tent to the dining room to give him another place to go calm down, in hopes that when school starts he can go to the tent if he has an issue and needs a place to go isolate himself and chill out. These kids get overloaded really easy and need time outs for themselves to calm their brains down a lot.
Brody also tends to get pretty upset with different voices. If Bill talks to him with a baby voice and trying to baby talk him, that pitch really must bother him because we have noticed that it sets him off. So Bill's working on talking normal to him now and Brody seems to really warm up to him more now. He's also been working on firmer touch. You'd think that gentleness is key with kids, but sensory processing disorder kids don't process light touch.. When you lightly touch them they immediately think that it is going to hurt and can sometimes have the sensations that they are being burned. So firmer touch, bear hugs, seem to be what works best. We've been doing this more with him and it seems to help a lot. He LOVES it. Loves the brushing therapy where you firmly take this plastic brush and stroke his skin. This therapy helps him become aware of his entire body and limbs. Sensory kids seem to not know what body parts actually belong to them. They don't realize their body is their own. This brushing helps them know they are all there. The joint compressions really calm him down and settle him down. The more I do them on him the more relaxed he is.
I am a momma bear true and true and I KNEW something was not right with my kid. When you know you just know. Never ignore your gut feelings. I am so happy to have a name for all this now. I am happy to know where to go from here and things I can finally do to help him out. Not just things that let him slip through the cracks and get lost in the shuffle. Our child is going to be something some day. I want him to have a chance to do just the same as every other kid out there and I will do whatever it takes to make that happen. This includes pushing and pushing until we figure him out!
Eventually when school starts in August we may have to take him to the Autism clinic and narrow down the diagnosis to better help him blend in at school and for his education, but for now this is what we got and I am doing all the research and all the things I've been taught to help him out.
It's just amazing to Bill and I how a few little things can totally change a kid in ONE week! Wow! I can't wait to see how these things help out in the long run! We are so blessed!
Mernie had her surgery on Monday. It was a long day, but she came out switched and she is out of the hospital and home now. She's on her journey to her weight loss success and I am so happy and proud of her. She is going to rock this stuff!!!
Cole spent last night with Jenny and she took him to the skating rink so he could skate! He's been looking forward to the rink opening up all winter long. He's so happy!
This week I plan on just getting things organized here at home. Catching up from a busy week of running to Peoria twice and not being home much. I am about caught up, but then I have more things I would like to get accomplished that don't really stand out, but to me I want to get done and cleaned out and up!
So much to do, so little time!
Saturday, February 4, 2012
A YEARS reflections...LONG POST
Feb 3, 2012 ...One year ago today I was in a total panic freaking out that I wasn't going to make it to Peoria for my surgery. We were in the smack middle of the storm of the century. 28 inches of snow had fallen, was still falling and blowing like crazy. Bill assured me come hell or high water, even if we had to rive the tractor and snow plow to Peoria he would get me there no matter what!
One year ago today I was packing bags. Bags for us to stay in the hospital, bags for the boys to go to Bev's. I was having such an emotional day. I was making sure I had plenty of liquid foods to eat to come home to. I was making sure I had my vitamins all ready and set for after surgery consumption. I was a nervous wreck. I was about to undergo a surgery that could possibly kill me. It happens. Would I even be coming home? I was hugging my boys tighter and enjoying every second with them, just in case I didn't come home. I was ready for the changes. I knew I would end up dying young if I didn't go through with this, but I knew it was a roll of the dice of life going through with it too. I had my family and a few friends in my corner and I was prepared for this life change, so I thought...
The next day Feb 3, 2011 I had Cole take a few "before" photos of me. Taken almost an hour before Bill and I left for our journey to Peoria. The snowdrifts were nearly as tall as the truck in some places, but he assured me that the interstate would be clear and we would get there. We climbed in the four wheel drive truck and dropped off the boys and took off to Peoria. Saying bye to my boys was so emotional. Cole especially so, cause I had left him soooo much while I was pregnant, and here it was a year later and I was up and leaving him again. He was super excited for me to get healthy, so he was happy to see me go, but I was so scared and nervous that I had a hard time telling him goodbye. What if he never got to see me again? It could happen? Things happen all the time. I cried from the time we dropped them off to about Macomb. I was just so nervous. I was HAPPY, don't get me wrong. I was EXCITED as all get out, but deep down in my gut I had nerves.
What should have taken us 2 hours took us almost 4. We made a few stops along the way, and ended up getting into Peoria early evening. We checked into the Pierre Marquette Hotel and settled in for the night. I was on a clear liquid diet at this point. I had been for 5 days. I was pretty weak, and very very tired. I was constantly hungry. My poor tummy growled and gurgled like no other. I was sooo sick of JELLO and sooo sick of BROTH. It almost made me puke to consume it. Bill ordered a ruben sandwich from room service. I was happy that's what he ordered, I don't like rubens, so it was fine by me. I ordered a cup of hot water and mixed up some bullion in it and had a Jello cup. We watched the newest Saw movie off of Pay per view, I walked down to the lobby with Bill to smoke and then we tucked in for the night.
My back hurt to sleep in beds. I was up and down all night long. It didn't help that I had diarrhea because of the liquid diet, so I was up pooping all night long anyhow. It was finally done snowing. I stood at the window and looked out all night long. I didn't sleep much at all. I watched TV. Read some magazines, took a shower and scrubbed with antibacterial soap. (They say you're supposed to do that before major surgery) I was so happy when Bill woke up and was able to visit with me. It was a long night.
Bill asked me a zillion times if I was SURE I wanted to go through this. He said that he wouldn't get mad at all if I chose to back out. He was keeping my options open. I love that he trusted in me to make the decision and was going to be there for me no matter what I chose to do.
Feb 4, 2011 Surgery day... Mom, Grandma Trone and Carla Rodeffer all came up to Peoria to see me. They all took me to the hospital and we checked in. I had to get labs done and then prepped for surgery. They all waited in the waiting room and I had prep. Then 30 minutes before surgery, Dr. Marshall came in and checked in with us. I said my goodbyes to everyone and I was off to change my life.
They wheeled me through this back hallway that was deserted. It was narrow and dark, not very well lit. It seemed so gloomy there. I could tell we were in a basement of some sort? There were all these doors. They finally opened up a door and we went in. The room was so tiny to me. One whole wall was lined with carts and trays FULL of surgical instruments. Nothing but metal. It was unreal. Some lady was sitting there with a clip board counting all the instruments. Then there was this TINY table. They asked me to get up on it and put this wedge under me. I felt like I was going to fall off the table but they belted me in. They strapped down my arms out the sides of me and Dr. Marshall walked in. He asked if I was ready, I remember making some small talk and laughing. The anesthetist was super good looking, before in the prep room Carla Rodeffer, Mom and I were teasing Bill I was going to spend time with the good looking Dr. He just laughed. I remember he had the prettiest eyes. He looked at me and asked if I was ready to change my life and I said YES SIR, and Dr. Marshall said "sweet dreams" and that's all I remember.
I woke up in a room full of people talking. I couldn't open up my eyes much. They just wouldn't open. Mom, Bill, Grandma and Carla all came in to see me and I remember them showing me some presents they got me, but then they said they had to leave. They told me I was in the ICU and that they couldn't stay there with me. I remember wondering why I was in the ICU? I fell back to sleep. They left.
It was like 3 a.m. and I was wide awake finally. Monitors kept going off. It kept waking me up. Scaring me bad. I was not sure why, but I was having a freak out moment. The nurse was a witch. I asked to get out of bed. She looked at me like I was nuts. I demanded she get me out of that bed. She was pissy with me and went and got a male nurse. They told me that if I was going to get up, I had to use the "lift" I was like "no way" and they hooked me up to it and started to lift me. I screamed at them. They told me that I just needed to stay where I was at, I told them NO I was going to that damn chair over there and if they didn't help me get there then I was going to get up and go myself when they left the room. They were super not nice. Basically I was a pain in their ass, because it was the middle of the night and I wasn't supposed to be up and wanting out of bed. They didn't want to deal with me at all. I worked myself to a sit up position and sat on the edge of the bed. (this took about 20 mins) then I let my feet hit the floor. I finally stood up, on my own cause I wouldn't let them assholes touch me. They were rude to me. I walked over to the recliner and sat down. I felt so good to get out of bed. I asked for some ice chips. The mean nurse wouldn't let me have any. I told her I was going to throw up if she didn't get me something for my mouth. She came back with ice chips! I stayed in the chair from 4 a.m. till 8 a.m. and then they still wouldn't tell me why I was in the ICU. I kept asking they just told me my oxygen levels were dropping when I was sleeping so Dr wanted me watched closely. I recall hearing someone talk about blisters and a rash when I was half in and half out of sleep, but nobody would tell me anything? As far as I could tell I was fine? My pain was pretty intense. I made myself stand up and take a few steps every hour. By the time Dr came in at 9 am I was up pacing the room. He kicked me out to the surgical floor. He was pleased with my progress and told me he would be back that evening.
As they wheeled me out to the floor we met my entourage on the way. They were coming to see me! They settled me in a room. Everyone was talking and telling me what they did the day before. They had a million questions about how I felt. I finally figured out that I had went to the ICU because I had a severe allergic reaction to Levaquin, an antibiotic they gave me after surgery to prevent infection. I guess my whole trunk down broke out in red welt blisters, my oxygen levels started to drop, I was having trouble breathing from the swelling and rash. They gave me different drugs to counter act the reaction and put me on monitors to keep a very close eye on me.
Tiffany, Hannah and Maddox came to visit me too. They stayed with me while Mom, and Bill went to check out of the hotel. Bill was told he could stay with me in my hospital room and Mom, Carla and Grandma were going home for the day. We had a nice visit and they helped me get on the pot and pee for the first time! Bless their hearts and I am not sure why I even remember that, but they did!
Mom, Grandma, Carla and Bill came back. They said their goodbyes and left, Bill and I were left alone. They moved me across the hall to another room. It was much smaller and more cozy. Bill made me get up every hour or two and walk walk walk. He was like Hitler ordering me around all the time. I also had to pee a lot. All the IV fluids. They brought me my first meal tray. 2 shot glasses of jello and a shot glass of broth. I ate a few nibbles off the jello and was plum stuffed. It was crazy. I felt like I had eaten a HUGE thanksgiving feast and had only had a couple bites. Strange.
I ended up having to spend an extra day in the hospital. I was planning on coming home on Sunday, but my blood pressure wouldn't come down. All I knew was they were bringing me a cup with crushed up pills in it and I had to get them choked down 3 times a day. So I asked Dr to go over my medicines with me. He and I discovered they weren't giving me one of my MAJOR blood pressure medicines. So they gave that to me and my pressure came down right away. I was hurting pretty bad. I was in so much pain it was making me sick. He just didn't understand why I was hurting so bad and neither did I? He said I should be pain free with the amount of medicine he had ordered for me. They did some looking and turns out that all along they were only giving me 1/3 of the dose that I would have. I was allowed 30 mg and they only gave me 10 every 4 hours. I was pretty pissed that I had been so sore for so long and it really hurt to move so much, and I had been forcing myself to move and move through this pain. Bill couldn't understand why I didn't hurt much worse with my c section and how I was so much more pain with this surgery and it was a Lap surgery, not cut clear open across my tummy? Now we knew. The nice nurse that day gave me my FULL dose of medicine and within an hour I was in heaven. Dr. Marshall came back in, said since my pressure came down and I was pain free he was sending me home. Thank the lord.
We had the truck. The nurse sent us home with all kinds of tools. I had a pillow she sent home with me, I had spoons and pill crushers and shot wipes for my blood thinner injections and a puke bucket just in case. We took almost 4 hours to get home. It was a long slow ride. The roads weren't the best and to top it off my guts hurt so bad. I remember crying a LOT during that trip. Poor Bill, he tried to go slow tried to avoid bumps, and it just didn't help. I was in pain. I was so HAPPY to see my boys! I was so happy to be home.
The first month is such a blur to me. Thank goodness I blogged a lot. I can go back and read all that now and see how miserable and tired I was. That is why it was a blur. I had no energy what so ever. I had to sleep all the time. I couldn't be alone. Someone had to be there with me to help with Brody. Someone had to be there with me to remind me to wake up and take my medicines. Someone was there cooking for the boys, cleaning my house and keeping me functional. Someone had to remind me to eat, to drink and to walk walk walk. Thank the lord for Grandmas and Carla and my mother in law & my Mom. They all chipped in and took super good care of me. Bev kept the boys a lot. Jenny kept the boys too. It was such a group effort to keep us all in check that first month.
The second month I got a fire under my butt because it was finally official we were moving! I had to get up and get going and get to packing. I worked my butt off day and night and was so damn sick. I puked all the time. Not really puking, but urping. That's what I call it. It's not really puke when you don't produce much stomach acid and it doesn't taste like puke. It's just an urp. Nothing much stayed down and I ended up in the hospital for 2 days getting tanked up on fluids. That helped with the nausea and so I got back to work. Dr. Marshall was thrilled with my progress, but urging me to slow down to keep from getting so sick again.
By three months out eventually the severe vomiting stopped. We were in our new home and getting settled. I had a new found spark for life and energy to burn. I was gardening, and outside all the time. I was doing things with the boys that I had never had the energy to do before. I was finally getting my life back. I was so rambunctious I even fell off the patio and broke my arm! Worst summer ever, in a cast! Yuck!
From there things developed. By 6 months out I was looking for local support. I got the idea to make a local support group and checked with the PSG and Carthage Memorial Hospital and set it all up. This took 2 months of planning and organizing. I got it up and going and now we are a strong and supportive group. We are less structured than most groups, but it works for us and we all look forward to meeting up and getting together.
Now I am here, Feb 4th will be my 1 year mark. I am 10 lbs away from losing 200 lbs. I am shocked that I have accomplished so much in such a little time. My before pics shock me. I still see myself as that woman. I can't get used to the lady in the mirror now. It's only been a year and only a short few months have I seen this lady staring back at me. Things are shrinking, things are changing. I am still losing. I am 20 lbs away from my goal, give or take a few pounds. My weight has stayed pretty steady and slowly losing the last couple weeks. I've been so less active with my back pain, my kidney stone and all that, so I have been a drugged up couch potato. I hate it. I haven't gained any weight, but have only lost a couple pounds in the last month. Not a lot in the scheme of things what I have done so far, so this is frustrating me a lot. I am still shrinking in inches though, cause my clothes are getting baggier by the second. Without my belt my size 14's are falling off me. I am thinking I am heading for a size 12, but possibly a 10? I am waiting to see? Next time I go shopping I will have to try some stuff on!
This surgery is just a tool in my chest. If I don't work with my tool, it's not going to help fix me. I'm far from fixedthink I will ever be fixed. My body is doing one thing, but my head does another. They are pulling in two different directions right now. It's so crazy. I might still be shrinking, but my head is still stuck in fat mode. I still think like I'm fat. I am not sure when that will go away, if ever, but it's such a daily struggle. I have to work with this tool. I have to utilize every shred of information I get. My heart and soul has been poured into this 100%. I have forever dedicated my life to living in this new healthy way and using my body in ways I have only dreamed of before. Just because my body looks "fixed" I am not there yet. My brain and body are so far away from each other it's just a weird thing to have to go through alone. I am so happy I have an amazing support group of peers whom are struggling with the same things I am going through. It's such a nice thing to have them all so close and able to talk through all these weird emotions that nobody else can possibly understand.
I took a roll of the dice with this surgery. I know some people are so negative and still say this was the "easy way out" and I am "cheating" the diet by having surgery. I am so beyond that crap. I really don't care. I am just so happy that I am where I am today. I am happy that I have gone through everything I have to get to here. I love it here. I am in such an amazing place with my life right now. I wouldn't change a thing. I love being me. I love that I had the courage to take that step and go through with all of this. It hasn't been easy, by any means, but it's been WELL worth it all. I am so happy to be where I am today and I am so happy for all the loving and supportive people who have helped me get here. People say I've done all the work and they are proud of me, but honestly it takes a village to make our family work, and this year I've had so much help and so much love shown to us, that without all my supporters I NEVER could be where I am today.
My resolution this year was to let people know more how much I appreciate them. I have been really trying to make an effort to pay it forward with my success and let the world know how much I appreciate my "tool". Surgery is not for everyone. Surgery was my option. My chance to live. I took that chance, here I am and I am so ever grateful to wake up every day in this life. I appreciate that I've been given the chance to be here. I will grab on and take every second I get. I know I don't have it all quite figured out just yet, and this time next year, I still might not have it all figured out, but I will be HAPPY and HEALTHY each day from this day forward, trying to get a grip on it all.
Changes... I am so happy I was given the chance to change. I am still ME inside, the same old Mandy, you just might not recognize me on the outside. I still have a BIG heart, I don't think that will ever shrink, no matter how much weight I lose. God Bless you all for standing up next to me this past year. I am so grateful you are in my life, and I'm grateful to still be alive to share this past year with you. Now, on to year #2!!!!!
One year ago today I was packing bags. Bags for us to stay in the hospital, bags for the boys to go to Bev's. I was having such an emotional day. I was making sure I had plenty of liquid foods to eat to come home to. I was making sure I had my vitamins all ready and set for after surgery consumption. I was a nervous wreck. I was about to undergo a surgery that could possibly kill me. It happens. Would I even be coming home? I was hugging my boys tighter and enjoying every second with them, just in case I didn't come home. I was ready for the changes. I knew I would end up dying young if I didn't go through with this, but I knew it was a roll of the dice of life going through with it too. I had my family and a few friends in my corner and I was prepared for this life change, so I thought...
The next day Feb 3, 2011 I had Cole take a few "before" photos of me. Taken almost an hour before Bill and I left for our journey to Peoria. The snowdrifts were nearly as tall as the truck in some places, but he assured me that the interstate would be clear and we would get there. We climbed in the four wheel drive truck and dropped off the boys and took off to Peoria. Saying bye to my boys was so emotional. Cole especially so, cause I had left him soooo much while I was pregnant, and here it was a year later and I was up and leaving him again. He was super excited for me to get healthy, so he was happy to see me go, but I was so scared and nervous that I had a hard time telling him goodbye. What if he never got to see me again? It could happen? Things happen all the time. I cried from the time we dropped them off to about Macomb. I was just so nervous. I was HAPPY, don't get me wrong. I was EXCITED as all get out, but deep down in my gut I had nerves.
What should have taken us 2 hours took us almost 4. We made a few stops along the way, and ended up getting into Peoria early evening. We checked into the Pierre Marquette Hotel and settled in for the night. I was on a clear liquid diet at this point. I had been for 5 days. I was pretty weak, and very very tired. I was constantly hungry. My poor tummy growled and gurgled like no other. I was sooo sick of JELLO and sooo sick of BROTH. It almost made me puke to consume it. Bill ordered a ruben sandwich from room service. I was happy that's what he ordered, I don't like rubens, so it was fine by me. I ordered a cup of hot water and mixed up some bullion in it and had a Jello cup. We watched the newest Saw movie off of Pay per view, I walked down to the lobby with Bill to smoke and then we tucked in for the night.
My back hurt to sleep in beds. I was up and down all night long. It didn't help that I had diarrhea because of the liquid diet, so I was up pooping all night long anyhow. It was finally done snowing. I stood at the window and looked out all night long. I didn't sleep much at all. I watched TV. Read some magazines, took a shower and scrubbed with antibacterial soap. (They say you're supposed to do that before major surgery) I was so happy when Bill woke up and was able to visit with me. It was a long night.
Bill asked me a zillion times if I was SURE I wanted to go through this. He said that he wouldn't get mad at all if I chose to back out. He was keeping my options open. I love that he trusted in me to make the decision and was going to be there for me no matter what I chose to do.
Feb 4, 2011 Surgery day... Mom, Grandma Trone and Carla Rodeffer all came up to Peoria to see me. They all took me to the hospital and we checked in. I had to get labs done and then prepped for surgery. They all waited in the waiting room and I had prep. Then 30 minutes before surgery, Dr. Marshall came in and checked in with us. I said my goodbyes to everyone and I was off to change my life.
They wheeled me through this back hallway that was deserted. It was narrow and dark, not very well lit. It seemed so gloomy there. I could tell we were in a basement of some sort? There were all these doors. They finally opened up a door and we went in. The room was so tiny to me. One whole wall was lined with carts and trays FULL of surgical instruments. Nothing but metal. It was unreal. Some lady was sitting there with a clip board counting all the instruments. Then there was this TINY table. They asked me to get up on it and put this wedge under me. I felt like I was going to fall off the table but they belted me in. They strapped down my arms out the sides of me and Dr. Marshall walked in. He asked if I was ready, I remember making some small talk and laughing. The anesthetist was super good looking, before in the prep room Carla Rodeffer, Mom and I were teasing Bill I was going to spend time with the good looking Dr. He just laughed. I remember he had the prettiest eyes. He looked at me and asked if I was ready to change my life and I said YES SIR, and Dr. Marshall said "sweet dreams" and that's all I remember.
I woke up in a room full of people talking. I couldn't open up my eyes much. They just wouldn't open. Mom, Bill, Grandma and Carla all came in to see me and I remember them showing me some presents they got me, but then they said they had to leave. They told me I was in the ICU and that they couldn't stay there with me. I remember wondering why I was in the ICU? I fell back to sleep. They left.
It was like 3 a.m. and I was wide awake finally. Monitors kept going off. It kept waking me up. Scaring me bad. I was not sure why, but I was having a freak out moment. The nurse was a witch. I asked to get out of bed. She looked at me like I was nuts. I demanded she get me out of that bed. She was pissy with me and went and got a male nurse. They told me that if I was going to get up, I had to use the "lift" I was like "no way" and they hooked me up to it and started to lift me. I screamed at them. They told me that I just needed to stay where I was at, I told them NO I was going to that damn chair over there and if they didn't help me get there then I was going to get up and go myself when they left the room. They were super not nice. Basically I was a pain in their ass, because it was the middle of the night and I wasn't supposed to be up and wanting out of bed. They didn't want to deal with me at all. I worked myself to a sit up position and sat on the edge of the bed. (this took about 20 mins) then I let my feet hit the floor. I finally stood up, on my own cause I wouldn't let them assholes touch me. They were rude to me. I walked over to the recliner and sat down. I felt so good to get out of bed. I asked for some ice chips. The mean nurse wouldn't let me have any. I told her I was going to throw up if she didn't get me something for my mouth. She came back with ice chips! I stayed in the chair from 4 a.m. till 8 a.m. and then they still wouldn't tell me why I was in the ICU. I kept asking they just told me my oxygen levels were dropping when I was sleeping so Dr wanted me watched closely. I recall hearing someone talk about blisters and a rash when I was half in and half out of sleep, but nobody would tell me anything? As far as I could tell I was fine? My pain was pretty intense. I made myself stand up and take a few steps every hour. By the time Dr came in at 9 am I was up pacing the room. He kicked me out to the surgical floor. He was pleased with my progress and told me he would be back that evening.
As they wheeled me out to the floor we met my entourage on the way. They were coming to see me! They settled me in a room. Everyone was talking and telling me what they did the day before. They had a million questions about how I felt. I finally figured out that I had went to the ICU because I had a severe allergic reaction to Levaquin, an antibiotic they gave me after surgery to prevent infection. I guess my whole trunk down broke out in red welt blisters, my oxygen levels started to drop, I was having trouble breathing from the swelling and rash. They gave me different drugs to counter act the reaction and put me on monitors to keep a very close eye on me.
Tiffany, Hannah and Maddox came to visit me too. They stayed with me while Mom, and Bill went to check out of the hotel. Bill was told he could stay with me in my hospital room and Mom, Carla and Grandma were going home for the day. We had a nice visit and they helped me get on the pot and pee for the first time! Bless their hearts and I am not sure why I even remember that, but they did!
Mom, Grandma, Carla and Bill came back. They said their goodbyes and left, Bill and I were left alone. They moved me across the hall to another room. It was much smaller and more cozy. Bill made me get up every hour or two and walk walk walk. He was like Hitler ordering me around all the time. I also had to pee a lot. All the IV fluids. They brought me my first meal tray. 2 shot glasses of jello and a shot glass of broth. I ate a few nibbles off the jello and was plum stuffed. It was crazy. I felt like I had eaten a HUGE thanksgiving feast and had only had a couple bites. Strange.
I ended up having to spend an extra day in the hospital. I was planning on coming home on Sunday, but my blood pressure wouldn't come down. All I knew was they were bringing me a cup with crushed up pills in it and I had to get them choked down 3 times a day. So I asked Dr to go over my medicines with me. He and I discovered they weren't giving me one of my MAJOR blood pressure medicines. So they gave that to me and my pressure came down right away. I was hurting pretty bad. I was in so much pain it was making me sick. He just didn't understand why I was hurting so bad and neither did I? He said I should be pain free with the amount of medicine he had ordered for me. They did some looking and turns out that all along they were only giving me 1/3 of the dose that I would have. I was allowed 30 mg and they only gave me 10 every 4 hours. I was pretty pissed that I had been so sore for so long and it really hurt to move so much, and I had been forcing myself to move and move through this pain. Bill couldn't understand why I didn't hurt much worse with my c section and how I was so much more pain with this surgery and it was a Lap surgery, not cut clear open across my tummy? Now we knew. The nice nurse that day gave me my FULL dose of medicine and within an hour I was in heaven. Dr. Marshall came back in, said since my pressure came down and I was pain free he was sending me home. Thank the lord.
We had the truck. The nurse sent us home with all kinds of tools. I had a pillow she sent home with me, I had spoons and pill crushers and shot wipes for my blood thinner injections and a puke bucket just in case. We took almost 4 hours to get home. It was a long slow ride. The roads weren't the best and to top it off my guts hurt so bad. I remember crying a LOT during that trip. Poor Bill, he tried to go slow tried to avoid bumps, and it just didn't help. I was in pain. I was so HAPPY to see my boys! I was so happy to be home.
The first month is such a blur to me. Thank goodness I blogged a lot. I can go back and read all that now and see how miserable and tired I was. That is why it was a blur. I had no energy what so ever. I had to sleep all the time. I couldn't be alone. Someone had to be there with me to help with Brody. Someone had to be there with me to remind me to wake up and take my medicines. Someone was there cooking for the boys, cleaning my house and keeping me functional. Someone had to remind me to eat, to drink and to walk walk walk. Thank the lord for Grandmas and Carla and my mother in law & my Mom. They all chipped in and took super good care of me. Bev kept the boys a lot. Jenny kept the boys too. It was such a group effort to keep us all in check that first month.
The second month I got a fire under my butt because it was finally official we were moving! I had to get up and get going and get to packing. I worked my butt off day and night and was so damn sick. I puked all the time. Not really puking, but urping. That's what I call it. It's not really puke when you don't produce much stomach acid and it doesn't taste like puke. It's just an urp. Nothing much stayed down and I ended up in the hospital for 2 days getting tanked up on fluids. That helped with the nausea and so I got back to work. Dr. Marshall was thrilled with my progress, but urging me to slow down to keep from getting so sick again.
By three months out eventually the severe vomiting stopped. We were in our new home and getting settled. I had a new found spark for life and energy to burn. I was gardening, and outside all the time. I was doing things with the boys that I had never had the energy to do before. I was finally getting my life back. I was so rambunctious I even fell off the patio and broke my arm! Worst summer ever, in a cast! Yuck!
From there things developed. By 6 months out I was looking for local support. I got the idea to make a local support group and checked with the PSG and Carthage Memorial Hospital and set it all up. This took 2 months of planning and organizing. I got it up and going and now we are a strong and supportive group. We are less structured than most groups, but it works for us and we all look forward to meeting up and getting together.
Now I am here, Feb 4th will be my 1 year mark. I am 10 lbs away from losing 200 lbs. I am shocked that I have accomplished so much in such a little time. My before pics shock me. I still see myself as that woman. I can't get used to the lady in the mirror now. It's only been a year and only a short few months have I seen this lady staring back at me. Things are shrinking, things are changing. I am still losing. I am 20 lbs away from my goal, give or take a few pounds. My weight has stayed pretty steady and slowly losing the last couple weeks. I've been so less active with my back pain, my kidney stone and all that, so I have been a drugged up couch potato. I hate it. I haven't gained any weight, but have only lost a couple pounds in the last month. Not a lot in the scheme of things what I have done so far, so this is frustrating me a lot. I am still shrinking in inches though, cause my clothes are getting baggier by the second. Without my belt my size 14's are falling off me. I am thinking I am heading for a size 12, but possibly a 10? I am waiting to see? Next time I go shopping I will have to try some stuff on!
This surgery is just a tool in my chest. If I don't work with my tool, it's not going to help fix me. I'm far from fixedthink I will ever be fixed. My body is doing one thing, but my head does another. They are pulling in two different directions right now. It's so crazy. I might still be shrinking, but my head is still stuck in fat mode. I still think like I'm fat. I am not sure when that will go away, if ever, but it's such a daily struggle. I have to work with this tool. I have to utilize every shred of information I get. My heart and soul has been poured into this 100%. I have forever dedicated my life to living in this new healthy way and using my body in ways I have only dreamed of before. Just because my body looks "fixed" I am not there yet. My brain and body are so far away from each other it's just a weird thing to have to go through alone. I am so happy I have an amazing support group of peers whom are struggling with the same things I am going through. It's such a nice thing to have them all so close and able to talk through all these weird emotions that nobody else can possibly understand.
I took a roll of the dice with this surgery. I know some people are so negative and still say this was the "easy way out" and I am "cheating" the diet by having surgery. I am so beyond that crap. I really don't care. I am just so happy that I am where I am today. I am happy that I have gone through everything I have to get to here. I love it here. I am in such an amazing place with my life right now. I wouldn't change a thing. I love being me. I love that I had the courage to take that step and go through with all of this. It hasn't been easy, by any means, but it's been WELL worth it all. I am so happy to be where I am today and I am so happy for all the loving and supportive people who have helped me get here. People say I've done all the work and they are proud of me, but honestly it takes a village to make our family work, and this year I've had so much help and so much love shown to us, that without all my supporters I NEVER could be where I am today.
My resolution this year was to let people know more how much I appreciate them. I have been really trying to make an effort to pay it forward with my success and let the world know how much I appreciate my "tool". Surgery is not for everyone. Surgery was my option. My chance to live. I took that chance, here I am and I am so ever grateful to wake up every day in this life. I appreciate that I've been given the chance to be here. I will grab on and take every second I get. I know I don't have it all quite figured out just yet, and this time next year, I still might not have it all figured out, but I will be HAPPY and HEALTHY each day from this day forward, trying to get a grip on it all.
Changes... I am so happy I was given the chance to change. I am still ME inside, the same old Mandy, you just might not recognize me on the outside. I still have a BIG heart, I don't think that will ever shrink, no matter how much weight I lose. God Bless you all for standing up next to me this past year. I am so grateful you are in my life, and I'm grateful to still be alive to share this past year with you. Now, on to year #2!!!!!
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
Sick of sick
The last week has been insane around here! Sick sick sick, I am so sick of all this sickness. My back ache is never ending, Cole had the poops, then the pukes, then Brody got the poops, then Bill got the pukes, I got a sinus infection, Brody had the pukes and poops again and then last night topped it all off. I had been home wiping Brody's butt all day and listening to Bill puke and puke his guts out, poor guy, so I woke up with an extremely sore back. Nothing unusual lately, so I took some Tylenol, and did my exercises, which usually do stretch me out, stop the spasms and get me up and moving so by noon I can usually function.
By noon yesterday I was pretty sore. I snuck into the bed room while Bill was out puking and laid on my back massager and hoped to get some relief. I came out to the living room and did more stretches and the pain just kept getting more and more intense. Cole got home at 4 and by 5 I had enough. I went to the bedroom and begged Bill to let me trade him places for awhile. I was hurting so bad I needed a pain pill, and you know how I am with those damn pain pills, I am OUT like a light with them. I took one and laid down in bed. Within minutes I was up and in the bathroom. I felt like I had to poop, pee and just terrible pressure. I was in pain.
Bill insisted that I had caught the "flu" like he had and that I was being a wussy and just couldn't handle the pain. I knew it wasn't the damn flu. I was hurting in one spot in my groin and one spot in my back. Straight through. I couldn't sit still, I vomited twice from the pain and the Vicodin didn't touch my pain. After two hours of not sitting still I called my mother in law to come get me and take me to the ER. Bill stayed home puking and caring for the kids. Thank goodness they were little angels for him. Brody slept most of the time I was gone. Thank goodness.
Dr.Ramen was on call. She ran labs on me and a urine. My WBC count was elevated and my urine had cells in it and lots of blood. Pretty certain I had another kidney stone. She gave me 5 shots of different muscle relaxers, pain medicines and then 2 full of antibiotics. My hips are a bit sore today from all the shots, but they kicked in and the pain finally let up so I could sit still and get comfortable. I was ready to come home and go to bed. I got sent home with a pee strainer and had to catch my stone when I passed it.
I woke up in terrible pain again at 2 am. I popped another pain pill and some Tylenol for my fever which was 101. I tossed and turned and tried to get comfy. Never happened. I got Cole on the bus at 7 and then Brody and I fell back asleep from about 8 till 10 a.m. It felt so nice to finally sleep. I woke up and was still in severe pain. I had to pee so bad. By the time I walked to the bathroom my pain had sort of disappeared? Weird I know, but it did. So I was peeing, felt something weird and then got done and looked in the strainer and there it was, the stone. It looked like a bacon crumble actually. Kinda like a bacon bit, weird. So I got Brody dressed and we headed to town to the pharmacy to get my prescriptions. I also had to take my stone to the lab at the hospital for analysis.
I came home and felt like a million bucks being finally pain free. I did up my kitchen, and some laundry and cooked supper. It was a productive day after all the pain I'd been through.
Worst case is I might have to go through this again 2 more times. We knew I had 4 stones, hoping that I'd passed two or three last time, and then this one but there could be another one or two in there if I only passed one the first time. I am not looking forward to this pain again, but now that I know what to expect I can get to the Dr faster and get better pain control to pass it. That pain is worse than having a baby for sure. It's horrible. I can't imagine even being a guy. I hear stones are bad for them too.
Today Bill's guts haven't been right, but he is feeling better and not throwing up, he just spent the morning off and on in the bathroom. The boys both seem fine today and knock on wood I won't get this flu crap. I could do without it actually.
We need to all get well. I am sick of sickness!
By noon yesterday I was pretty sore. I snuck into the bed room while Bill was out puking and laid on my back massager and hoped to get some relief. I came out to the living room and did more stretches and the pain just kept getting more and more intense. Cole got home at 4 and by 5 I had enough. I went to the bedroom and begged Bill to let me trade him places for awhile. I was hurting so bad I needed a pain pill, and you know how I am with those damn pain pills, I am OUT like a light with them. I took one and laid down in bed. Within minutes I was up and in the bathroom. I felt like I had to poop, pee and just terrible pressure. I was in pain.
Bill insisted that I had caught the "flu" like he had and that I was being a wussy and just couldn't handle the pain. I knew it wasn't the damn flu. I was hurting in one spot in my groin and one spot in my back. Straight through. I couldn't sit still, I vomited twice from the pain and the Vicodin didn't touch my pain. After two hours of not sitting still I called my mother in law to come get me and take me to the ER. Bill stayed home puking and caring for the kids. Thank goodness they were little angels for him. Brody slept most of the time I was gone. Thank goodness.
Dr.Ramen was on call. She ran labs on me and a urine. My WBC count was elevated and my urine had cells in it and lots of blood. Pretty certain I had another kidney stone. She gave me 5 shots of different muscle relaxers, pain medicines and then 2 full of antibiotics. My hips are a bit sore today from all the shots, but they kicked in and the pain finally let up so I could sit still and get comfortable. I was ready to come home and go to bed. I got sent home with a pee strainer and had to catch my stone when I passed it.
I woke up in terrible pain again at 2 am. I popped another pain pill and some Tylenol for my fever which was 101. I tossed and turned and tried to get comfy. Never happened. I got Cole on the bus at 7 and then Brody and I fell back asleep from about 8 till 10 a.m. It felt so nice to finally sleep. I woke up and was still in severe pain. I had to pee so bad. By the time I walked to the bathroom my pain had sort of disappeared? Weird I know, but it did. So I was peeing, felt something weird and then got done and looked in the strainer and there it was, the stone. It looked like a bacon crumble actually. Kinda like a bacon bit, weird. So I got Brody dressed and we headed to town to the pharmacy to get my prescriptions. I also had to take my stone to the lab at the hospital for analysis.
I came home and felt like a million bucks being finally pain free. I did up my kitchen, and some laundry and cooked supper. It was a productive day after all the pain I'd been through.
Worst case is I might have to go through this again 2 more times. We knew I had 4 stones, hoping that I'd passed two or three last time, and then this one but there could be another one or two in there if I only passed one the first time. I am not looking forward to this pain again, but now that I know what to expect I can get to the Dr faster and get better pain control to pass it. That pain is worse than having a baby for sure. It's horrible. I can't imagine even being a guy. I hear stones are bad for them too.
Today Bill's guts haven't been right, but he is feeling better and not throwing up, he just spent the morning off and on in the bathroom. The boys both seem fine today and knock on wood I won't get this flu crap. I could do without it actually.
We need to all get well. I am sick of sickness!
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