Yesterday was my post op day 12. Grandma Trone came out to "sit" with us. We watched TV. Made lunch and just chilled out all day. It's funny, but nobody that hasn't been through this can not possibly understand the weakness and fatigue you feel. I am just bursting with energy when I wake up, but within an hour or two I am EXHAUSTED and ready for a nap! It's physically and totally emotionally draining.
Nothing can prepare you for the fullness and yet empty feeling you feel all at the same time. I eat, not much but very little, feel soooo full, yet deep inside my brain I feel empty that I couldn't even finish the few ounces that were on my plate. Two medicine cups, two shot glasses, whatever it takes to get you to understand this is the amount of food I am consuming 3 times a day. Depending on what I decide to eat, sometimes 2 medicine cups are too much! It's strange to go from eating a plate of food, to 3-4 baby spoon fulls and be STUFFED! It's weird for me to wrap my brain around that, but it's happening and I am living through it and I am surviving. I am alive... I wonder how I ever lived all these years eating all that I did? How did it get that far? How do our portion sizes change over time? Eyeballing my meals lead me to bring in my food, sit and eat and have sooooo much leftover on my plate. It almost makes me sick now. I HAVE to measure out each serving. I know I won't waste as much food that way. 2 ounces isn't as much as you think it is, and eyeballing it sure didn't cut it because I put way more on there than I should have. I put 4-6 ounces on there! I can't believe how full I feel after those 2 ounces too. That's amazing in itself. Guess that's the magic of the surgery working there. My stomach and bowels are still swollen and will be for a few more weeks. Right now things have to be totally chewed up and small small bites consumed so that it all goes down into my pouch well and there are no blockages. Chewing each bite for minutes and minutes sure does teach a person patience.
Today was my post op day 13. It's hard to believe that it's almost been 2 weeks since surgery! I am so proud of myself and the success I've achieved already. I went to the Dr today for my checkup. I have lost a total of 35 lbs. off of their scales. (I had that I had lost 40 here at home, but I also didn't weigh myself here at home before surgery... don't ask me why, I just never did, sooo I don't have an accurate pre surgery weight from here at home, I was just going by my scales and the amount of weight loss at home) so the medically correct amount so far is 35 lbs. since January 27th appointment. That's 35 lbs in 3 weeks. I go back to the Dr on March 10 for my one month post op appointment. I am super excited to see how much more I can accomplish till then! It literally just keeps melting off of me.
After my Dr's appointment the guys were starved. We wanted to go someplace where I would have a choice of something to eat, so we went to Avanti's. Bill had the crispy chicken sandwich and fries and I ordered a "side dish" of seafood pasta. I am on the pureed so I figured if I stayed away from the tomato sauces, they can hurt to eat for a few months, then I'd be okay. I figured I'd share my pasta with Brody. It came out in this tiny little bowl and the server kept asking us, "are you sure you don't want something else" and giving me the one over... here I am a BIG gal ordering only a SMALL helping of food to SHARE with this crazy kid! I could tell he was a bit baffled by it all, but I ate my fare share and Brody ate and ate and ate his fare share, and even helped himself to Bill's fries. We ended up having soooo much pasta left it didn't look like we had touched it. The waiter comes back out and brings us the check and says "would you like a to go container?" and was so puzzled looking. I almost died laughing. I knew he just thought there was NO WAY I would get full off of that little tiny serving of pasta, but I sure did. I loved the crab and shrimp! I ate a lot of that, just picked it out, and very few noodles. It had the white clam sauce on it all and it was super yummy for a change. I was so happy to be able to go out to eat with my family and ENJOY a meal. I also got tickled at the waiter being so shocked at the small amount Brody and I ate together! Bill said the best part of it all was the bill... $10.02 We all ate and got STUFFED for $10.02!!!!! ha ha haha I am such a cheap date now!!
We left Peoria and headed back this way. Bill wanted to stop at Farm King for a few things. We walked around there shopping for almost 30 minutes. He loaded Brody in the van and I unloaded the 3 sacks we bought into the back. I got in the van and Bill says to me "honey you look totally exhausted " and you know what... I WAS!!!! We came home and I am just chilling out. I could take a nap, if Brody would ever settle down and take one, but if not, I will sleep well tonight!
I'm already sleeping better than I have in YEARS. It's a miracle. Bill says I don't snore or make a sound sleeping now, so I am constantly waking up to him with his hands on me checking to see if I'm breathing. Geesh! I must have really sawed the logs before? ha ha ha!
I can't believe that tomorrow will be 2 weeks since surgery. I am feeling so good right now. If I wouldn't have all these restrictions and weight limits I would never know I even had this done, minus the fact that I can't eat much anymore! This is the best thing I have ever done and I am so grateful that I did it and went through with it. All those regrets from the first couple days and doubting my decisions are GONE and I think I can safely say that was the fatigue and pain talking back then! Onward I march into my 3rd week post op... what a ride it's been so far!
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