My field trip to Grandmas was successful! By the time I had Brody packed for the day at Bevs and myself packed for the day in town, made a pit stop at Circle K to grab some drinks for the day, I was POOPED! When I got out of Bevs vehicle I said "I am ready for a nap" I went in said hello to Grandma and laid down for 2 and a half hours! I was just exhausted from actually doing "something" for the day!
When I woke up it was time for lunch. My belly was starved. I ate some soupy mashed taters and my mom and Aunt Barb were there, so we had a nice visit.
Today I did a lot of talking this afternoon with Grandma. We talked through some things about all the changes that are going to be taking place. Things are going to change. Things have already started to change. It's all going to happen so fast and I just want to be sure to not miss a moment of any of this journey. I am so happy I blog. I want to be able to look back through all this and remember all the thoughts and emotions that ran through me on this daily journey to health and happiness.
Not only are these changes going to happen to me, but Bill and my boys are here with me daily and they are going to have a lot to go through too. I love my husband so much. He's the most supportive through this all. He was happy with me the way I was, doesn't care if I ever change, but now that I am he's starting to have a mini freak about the changes. He's not big into changes. Never has been. We tend to live in a little "Frakes bubble" we work well as a family, have a great little team, and any changes that throw a wrench into our great dynamic kinda freaks him out until he knows the outcome. Things are kinda getting back to normal with me feeling better, and not in so much pain. He's getting happier by the day with my progress. He worries soooo much about me. He almost makes himself sick taking care of me and everything else around here. I hate not feeling well, or being able to help him. I am so grateful to him for all his support, love and kindness to me when I was at my worst and when I am at my best. I guess that's the reason I married him... he's a good guy! He's the best! He and I were talking on the ride home last night about how funny it is how things like this reconnect us the most. I told him how much I appreciated him staying at the hospital with me and just sitting there for days. He just sat there. He walked me to the toilet each and every time, he wiped me when I couldn't turn or reach enough to do it myself, he took me on walks even when he was interested in TV shows, he got me ice chips over and over and over again, cold wash cloths, helped me bathe, helped me dress, he did everything I asked and never blinked an eye. I know he hates to see me hurt. It really bothers him when I am in pain. He sat there, held my hand and wiped my tears. At my worst, he treated me like I was at my best. We both agree that it's the moments like this that draw us closer and closer together. The night before my surgery we were laying in bed and I asked him if I wanted to back out of surgery what would he say? He replied "honey, you know if you don't want to do this we can go home. I love you the way you are. I am here for YOU for whatever you want to do. If you want to back out... we have this room paid for for 3 nights, we could just spend an awesome weekend here alone and cuddle" I looked him in the eyes and KNEW in my heart he meant every word of that. I asked just to see what he would say, but didn't have a thought in the world about backing out.
Tonight coming home I told him that day 1-3 post op I had so many regrets and doubts running through my mind. Did I do the right thing? Why did I do this? Is this really going to be worth all this pain? (this was before we discovered they were shorting me on all my pain meds, so had I been properly medicated, I'd have not been in all that pain) He said to me "yeah, that was the days I thought to myself... bet she's wishing she had taken me up on that relaxing weekend at the hotel!" ha ha ha This is why I love this man!
Cole is so excited for me to start exercising with him. I also can't wait to spend the summer outside with my boys playing. I am looking forward to many many changes and many fun things to come. Brody might not ever remember me fat? I'm not sure if his little brain will register that I was this big when he gets older. I am just going to be happy to be there for them both now.
I have been doing so good drinking. Yesterday I got in over 60 ounces of my daily 70 that I am supposed to get up to. That is a MAJOR deal! I was only drinking about 10-20 a day in the beginning. I feel that over the last few days my input has increased and it finally doesn't hurt to increase. I never thought that would get to this point.
I am ready to start my day 9. Hope it just keeps getting better!
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